David Johnston

rgorman@telusplanet.com

They decided there was no point  in having Ranma sneak back inside for
another dose of hot water.  Instead, they'd just go in through the
window he'd left open behind him, an operation that didn't go as
smoothly as it could have.  Akane forgot how tall "he" was and
cracked "his" head painfully on the windowsill, sending "himself"
sprawling onto the hardwood floor.

It just popped out.  Ranma no more could have kept from saying, "Geez,
you're clutzier than ever," than he could have stopped breathing.  Of
course Akane was eager to demonstrate just how easy it was
for Ranma to stop breathing.

Then the lights came on.  "Don't just lie there, boy, use the
Sea-Lions Applause!" Genma rumbled, from the doorway.

Sheepishly, Akane let go of Ranma's throat explaining, "It's not
what it looks like, sir."

"It looks like you were strangling my son.  Have I taught you
nothing, Ranma?  Why didn't you use the Applause?"

"Well, for one thing, it can leave someone permanently deaf,"
Ranma pointed out.  "And this is a friend of mine.  Say hi,
Kaneda."

"Pleased to meet you, sir.  I was just having some fun with
Ranma, that's all."

"There's something familiar about you, boy." Genma mused
aloud.  "Strange that I don't actually recall ever meeting you."

"Oh, well we've never actually talked before but you've probably
seen me around Ranma when we went to school together," Akane
said carefully.

Genma frowned.  "Why did you climb in through Ranma's
window, anyway?  You aren't interested in him, are you?
He's not a manly man in that sense, you know."

"What?  No!  I'd never-" Akane caught "his" self and lowered
"his" voice an octave.  "Not bloody likely, sir.  I prefer the
opposite sex."

"Good.  I'd hate to think that Nabiki was falling for someone
who couldn't appreciate her assets.  So, ready to ask her out?"

"Well, it's...uhh."

"Stop mumbling, boy." Genma scolded. " You'll never impress the girl
that way. She's as sharp as a stilleto through your heart, but she
definitely wants you  so don't beat around the bush, just say what you
want and  everything will work out perfectly.  Faint heart never won
fair flower."

"But what if I don't want to ask her out?" Akane protested.

"Then you're a fool.  A girl as pretty as that, and you know she'll
say yes, before you ask?  It's a sure thing, boy.  _Never_ turn
down a sure thing.  And it wouldn't be loyal to Ranma, you know.
We've been on shakey ground recently, and if Tendo gets the idea
that Ranma didn't really try to convince you...well...let's just say
that the forecast calls for rain tonight, and Ranma's really taken to
liking a roof over his head when it rains."

"You don't think da-Tendo-san would really throw Ranma out
because I didn't ask Nabiki out, do you?"

"He might.  Certainly you'd never be welcome in this house, again.
C'mon, boy.  You owe to your friend.  You owe it to that poor girl
pining away for you.  You owe it to your country!  Do it for Japan!
Do it for all mankind!"

Akane and Ranma exchanged glances.

"Where did that come from?" wondered Akane.

"Now do you see what I have to live with?  But you probably won't
be welcome in the house if you don't play along at least a little, so
why don't you just do what I told you to do?  It oughta work."

"Listen to my son,"  Genma boasted  "He knows how to attract women,
even if I sometimes wish he'd tone it down a little.  With your looks
and his brain--"

"I'm probably dead meat.  Fine, I'll try it, just to stop you two from
bugging me," Akane conceded.  She couldn't believe that Nabiki was
really hot for "Kaneda" anyway.  She wasn't hot for anyone.  This was
probably just one of those wacky misunderstandings that seemed to
be such a big part of her life these days.

Nabiki was downstairs watching television in a teenager's sprawl.
Akane hesitated at the open doorway, as "his" nerve faltered.  This
was just too perverted, she thought.  There had to be a way out of it.
Suddenly a hand shoved "him" abruptly into the room.  "He" looked
angrily back at Ranma and his father, both of them looking at the
ceiling and whistling nonchalantly.

Nabiki turned her head at the noise and raised an eyebrow.  The cold
reception heartened Akane though, and she stepped forward.  "Excuse
me, Tendo-san, but I'd like to ask you...um...out"

"What!"

Good.  That sounded like shock, or maybe even anger.  Not at all like
interest, much less <gag> love.  Now to make sure, the follow-up blow.
 

"I don't have much money because I'm just a wandering orphan martial
artist, though.  Is that a problem?"  Akane took a step back at the
impassive expression on "his" sister's face.  She wondered whether
that touch had been overkill.

Nabiki's head slowly turned and she looked at the kitchen door.
Kasumi was standing there, wringing her apron nervously as she waited
for Nabiki's response.  Slowly Nabiki began to smile, not her usual
little smirk, but a broad toothy smile filled with delight as she
turned her face back to Akane.  "Why Kaneda, that's no problem
at all.  I'll gladly cover my part of any expenses on our date."

"You...you will?"  Damn!  It had been overkill.  Akane'd driven her
own sister totally insane.  She should have known better than to
follow Ranma's stupid plan.  It was all his fault!  Him and his idiot
of a father!

"Playing hard to get, eh, boy?" Genma complimented Ranma.  "You
really do know how to handle a woman.  Now if you'd just use that
skill on Akane instead of any other girl who wanders by, we'd be set."

Suddenly the table was flung aside as Soun stood up from his hiding
place and declared, "IT'S JUST SO BEAUTIFUL!  What greater sign of
true love has ever been seen?  My daughter is going out on her first
date!"

" I've been out on dates before, Daddy," Nabiki calmly pointed out.
"In fact the Yamazaki brothers--"

"Oh, well they hardly count, do they?" Kasumi said, so gently that it
almost didn't seem like an interruption.  "No point in dwelling on the
distant past.  Perhaps you should settle on a day and time?"

"Tomorrow good for you?" Nabiki asked.

Akane shrugged and gave up.  "Sure."

"See you at seven."

"Whatever."  Akane beat a hasty retreat.  "C'mon, Ranma.  You and me
are going to have a looong chat."

Comments:  Yes, it's short.  They're all short.