David Johnston
rgorman@telusplanet.net
At the Nekohanten, Shampoo's face lit up at the sight of
her fiance. "Ai ren!" she greeted him, "Want some ramen?"
Behind her, Mousse gritted his teeth, resolving to keep
on watch on Ranma so that any insult could be avenged
later. In the Nekohanten itself, Ranma was untouchable.
Ranma looked around. Akane and Bie-Deh were nowhere to
be seen. Now that he thought about it, he'd just assumed
that the restaurant they'd go to was the Nekohanten.
"Actually I came to ask you about your friend Bee-Deh."
"Who?"
"Maybe I'm pronouncing it wrong. Bei-Deh? Bie-Deh?"
"Ranma always pronounce Amazon name wrong. What she
look like?"
"Kind of like you, but shorter, with black eyes and bright
blue hair; uses a weighted chain to fight.
There was a pause. "Shampoo has no friend like that."
"She said..." Ranma paused. He generally relied on his
reflexes more than his brains, but now he was starting to
think. "I need to talk to Cologne."
"OK. She in kitchen."
Cologne was cooking the next set of orders for her
customers as Ranma walked in. "Well, son-in-law, did you
come to ask Shampoo out, or was it me?" Cologne's eyes
glittered a little with amusement as Ranma shuddered.
"Come to think of it, I did run into an old boyfriend
of yours last night. Maybe he'll ask you out...old
ghoul."
Cologne briskly rapped him on the head and then
asked, "Who are you talking about?"
"A guy who calls himself Mizu. He claims to have
taught you the Shark-Fist."
Cologne paused to consider a vivid memory from her
youth of being transformed into a boy and tried
before the Amazon Elders before saying,
"Water, eh? Yes, I remember such a person. I
take it, you're the latest target of his sense of
humor?"
"Yeah," Ranma half-lied, "What's with that guy,
anyway?"
She eyed him and dryly reprimanded, "If you don't
learn to ask meaningful questions, you can not expect
to receive useful answers."
"Well, what is he? How can I take him on?"
"He is an elemental spirit, and so has great control
over his element, being most dangerous in its vicinity.
Apart from that, he has the magical power represented
by his element. As fire excels at destruction, air at
movement, metal at durability, and wood at bringing
forth life; so water is the element which transforms
what it touches or is transformed. He can transform
others or himself with frightening ease. Apart from
that, he is also an immortal who has studied martial
arts for longer than I have been alive, although
perhaps not so intensely," Cologne lectured,
ominously.
"What about weaknesses?" Ranma prodded.
"He's bound by his word, far more than than any
human could be. Once he makes a promise or bargain,
he is quite incapable of violating its wording. He's
bored enough that he'll accept challenges that restrict
him from using his full power, and the more he is
separated from his element, the weaker he is."
It really was an honest mistake. Kodachi recognised
Ranma's favourite outfit, heard a piping Chinese
accent, and was downright eager to have some fun.
True, maybe the hair was wrong, but the
wealthy-and-therefore-eccentric gymnast wasn't
overly inclined to sweat the details.
Batman, the Joker, and Poison Ivy all wrapped into
one slender package, she snagged a convenient
projection and swung into action. Knocking
the impertinent interloper aside, she slid into
the arms of her beloved...wait a moment... This
boy was NOT Ranma. He was taller and more
muscular. He didn't look very happy though.
Akane snarled, "Kodachi!"
Kodachi blushed in embarassment at her mistake,
wondering how this first grade slab of beef
knew her, "I'm terribly sorry, sir. The clothes
you are wearing--"
"Dress ruined! Kiss ruined! Obstacles are for
killing!". Akane just stepped back as Bie-Deh
surged at Kodachi like a tsunami.
*Should I stop her?* Akane wondered. If Bie-Deh
actually killed Kodachi, that would mean a lot of
legal problems, but Akane had trouble believing
the little Chinese girl would actually kill
someone...deliberately that is. On the other
hand, that grip on Kodachi's throat did look
pretty enthusiastic.
Akane sighed and pulled Bie-Deh off, warning
"Don't get carried away, Bie-Deh. Amazon laws
won't keep you from going to jail here if you
actually kill her, and she's more like an
irritant than an obstacle."
Kodachi gasped for breath like a drowning
victim as she rolled backwards and up to her
feet. "Irritant" was she? She'd show them
irritation. She smiled and her eyes glittered
in the darkness as she began to speak, "My
love...how could you let this gaijin treat me
that way; when only last night you swore that
she meant nothing to you and you would soon be
rid of her? How cruel!"
Akane tried to interrupt but was overridden by
the rolling Kuno Soliliquy (tm) as she
continued, "To use a young girl's affections
and then to discard her, such is the act of
the lowest kind of man. You seducer of
innocents! Enemy of women!"
Akane looked at Bie-Deh, staring back at "him"
with trembling lips and wide teary eyes. "Oh,
come on, you don't actually..." Wait. This was
her chance. Ranma's problem was he didn't have
the courage to reject girls, even for their own
good. She wouldn't even lie to Bie-Deh, really.
She took a deep breath and said, "Well, didn't
you think that I might already have someone I was
going to marry? It's not as if I came to your
village and looked to challenge you. You attacked
me! I've been trying to break it to you gently,
but it's your own fault if you got hurt."
Bie-Deh turned red as steamed lobster. "Kaneda Baka!"
Her leg whipped out to deliver a kick to Akane's shin
that sent pain shooting up to her hip. "She nasty!
You stupid ...to... pick her over nice fiancee!
Is not fair!" The blue haired girl turned and ran.
Crouched down to grab her injured leg, Akane looked
after Bie-Deh, imagining she could actually
see a stream of tears floating in the air behind her
"fiancee". It was for her own good, but Akane couldn't
help whispering Bie-Deh's name as the girl fled.
Meanwhile Kodachi watched in confusion. She hadn't
expected her trick to work quite so well...unless...
"Oh Kaneda-san, have you truly longed for me from
afar? But my heart is already given to another!"
Akane straightened up from where she was crouching,
appalled by what was about to happen. Desperately
she said, "NO! I wasn't-"
"Ohohoho-kaff! How shy! You do seem to have many
of the qualities I so admire in my Ranma-sama, so
perhaps we shall discuss this again!" Kodachi
tossed a single black rose and as Akane hastily
dodged, the Black Rose leapt back into the darkness.
Akane looked after her and sighed. Maybe marrying
Bie-Deh wasn't such a bad option after all.