Nabiki - New Horizons
                     Chapter 11 - Domestic Bliss
                          by G.L. Sandborn


     Nabiki really enjoyed these evenings with Jeffrey.  So much so,
that she actually looked forward to Saturday nights.  This was *their*
night; the night they did things just for themselves.  No school, no
work, no outside disturbances of any kind.  This week, it was rented
movies, a quiet house, and room on the couch for two.
     It was a cool evening, for late December in Hawaii.  The gentle
ocean breezes causing the palm trees to sway a gentle hula, their long
leaves hissing at the passing wind.  The surprisingly modest Lawrence
residence was appropriately decorated for the upcoming holidays.  True
to Jeffrey's heritage, a Christmas tree graced the corner of their
living room, a few carefully wrapped packages stacked neatly
underneath.  It had taken awhile but Nabiki finally embraced the
holiday without the Japanese feelings of guilt that went along with
the relative values of the gifts.  For her, it became a fun time when
the rules of giri no longer applied.
     Curled on the couch, dressed in her usual nightshirt, her bare
feet tucked comfortably under her long, shapely legs, Nabiki leaned
lightly against her husband's shoulder and split her time between
watching the movie and flipping through an American fashion magazine. 
In spite of the relative coolness of the evening, it was still warm
and cozy in the Lawrence home.
     As she turned to look at her husband, she felt a slight glow of
satisfaction at seeing him unwinding so well.  Since their last trip
to Japan, Jeff had thrown himself into his work, sometimes working 14
hour days.  He worked so hard that Nabiki actually started worrying
about his health.  She even sent away to Dr. Tofu for a prescription
for special herbs to put into his morning juice or tea to help him
cope with all the stress and long hours.  That's why Saturday evenings
were so special.  They gave Jeffrey a chance to relax around his
family.
     Nabiki blushed slightly when she recalled the other, more
personal, reason she liked having him home and relaxed.  As he
reclined slightly in only a pair of jogging shorts, his feet propped
up on the coffee table and his hands clasped behind his head, she
inventoried all the things that made her glad she married him.  He was
still quite firm of body and, in spite of Nabiki's dislike for the
activity, he still pursued his ninjutsu training on a regular basis.
He also continued lifting weights in the manner his Marine buddies
taught him.  The results were enough to make Nabiki breathe a little
faster.  To tell one of her secrets, *he* was the main reason she
worked so hard after the birth of Sodoshi to get her pre-pregnancy
figure back.  Her competitive spirit wouldn't allow herself to go
'flabby' when her husband looked so good.  Besides, if she didn't,
*he* might not find her attractive any more and *that* she couldn't
stand.  
     Even after all that had happened to them, she still loved him
more than she could express.  And, yes, she still found him physically
attractive.
     Shaking her head slightly and blushing at such thoughts, Nabiki
snuggled closer and casually perused the movie playing on their big
screen TV.  It was some John Wayne Western that Jeffrey was so fond
of.  The red-headed woman on the screen was just hitting the main
character over the head with a bottle.  Nabiki chuckled lightly.  Some
comedy translated well between cultures.  Even in Japan, that scene
would be popular - with the women, anyway.
     She laughed out loud when she put more familiar people in place
of the movie characters.  In her mind, she replayed that scene, only
this time with a middle-aged Ranma-chan using the bottle on an equally
middle aged Kuno.
     Much had happened in the 18 months since Sodoshi's kidnapping. 
Most of it expected.
     Both Jeff and Nabiki reached legal 'adulthood' in Hawaii.  Though
not much in their real life changed as neither engaged in any of the
disturbing habits that required such 'adultness', it did bring subtle
changes expected of advancing maturity.
     Their child, showing no ill effects from her kidnapping, had
first learned to walk then surprised everyone by quickly catching on
to talking.  In the last month or so, Sodoshi had shown remarkable
linguistic skills for her age; in two languages no less.  Instead of
the usual single words and unrelated pairs of words, Sodoshi was using
complete sentences, albeit sounding disturbingly like Shampoo when she
did.
     Jeff had built onto the back of their house, a large room, its
hardwood floor covered with foam pads and floor to ceiling glass
windows overlooking the patio and pool.  Nabiki hesitantly permitted
its construction, knowing full well what it was going to be used for. 
Sodoshi's formal shinobi training would not begin until she was 10 but
Jeff was determined to teach her the basics much earlier.
     Still, the past year had contained a few surprises, most notable
among them was Sodoshi's first swimming lesson.


***** [Last Summer] *****

     "Come on, sweetheart," Nabiki coaxed holding her hands out
towards her daughter.  Standing in almost chest-deep water of the
family's swimming pool, Nabiki was trying to convince her daughter to
let go of the side of the pool and 'swim' her way across the 8 feet or
so between them.  Eighteen month old Sodoshi, however, continued to
apprehensively cling to the pool's ladder and stare at her mother.
     "I believe there is an old shinobi saying: 'The seaweed bends
when the tide changes'," Jeff noted thoughtfully from his pool lounge.
     Nabiki made a face at her grinning husband.  There he went using
one of those corny old shinobi thoughts of wisdom again.  She hated
when he did that.  She especially hated when they didn't seem to make
much sense.  As it appeared he was not going to be forthcoming with an
interpretation, she resorted to asking.
     "So what does *that* mean?"
     "You shouldn't force her."
     "I'm not forcing her, Jeffrey."  Nabiki dropped her hands only
for a moment as she lodged her protest.  "We live on an island
surrounded by water.  She's got to learn how to swim sometime."
     "Nabiki, she's only a year and a half."  Jeff raised his
sunglasses and scowled at his young wife as she adjusted her bikini
again.  While he was momentarily distracted by his wife's movements
(the bikini was the one he refused to allow her to wear anywhere but
in the family pool - for obvious reasons), his eyes finally caught on
little Sodoshi as she seemed to be mentally measuring the distance
between herself and the apparent safety of her mother.
     Jeff was about to make another suggestion when Sodoshi settled
the issue for him.  Setting her jaw, Sodoshi lunged from the ladder
towards her mother, her little arms churning the water into a froth.  
     It was a brave effort.  
     It was an impressive effort.  
     It was about 2 feet short.  
     To everyone's surprise, Sodoshi sank like a rock, her little arms
still churning and her feet kicking like a frog.
     Nabiki stared, dumbfounded, as she watched with raised eyebrows
her daughter sink faster than.... well, faster than Akane.
     Jeff sat up suddenly while Nabiki, tongue planted in the corner
of her mouth and mindful of getting her hair wet, reached down in the
water and felt around for her daughter.  After a few seconds of
searching, Nabiki wore a satisfied look as she pulled the sputtering
Sodoshi from the pool.
     "Well, that wasn't too bad," Nabiki noted while wiping the water
from her daughter's face.  Sodoshi kept making spitting sounds as she
attempted to get the taste of the chlorinated pool out of her mouth.
     "You want to try again, sweetie?"  Nabiki was determined that her
daughter would be able to swim before the end of summer.  Sodoshi's
frowning response, however, told both parents it was going to be a
long summer.
     Moving into only waist deep water, Nabiki held her daughter out
at arms length and coaxed her back into the water with promises of
holding on this time.  Only one of Sodoshi's raised eyebrows betrayed
her skepticism at such 'guarantees'.  She knew her mother too well.
     At first, all seemed to go as expected; Sodoshi holding onto her
mother's hands and kicking her little feet.  She even appeared to be
enjoying it.  Then Nabiki slowly moved her hands out further on her
daughter's until only her fingers were being clutched tightly by
Sodoshi.
     "You can do it, So-chan.  Keep kicking," Nabiki encouraged while
backing slowly towards the deeper end of the pool.  Sodoshi's face
became etched with her determination as she suddenly let go of her
mother's fingers and began splashing her arms through the water at a
furious rate.  Once again, Sodoshi sank to the bottom of the pool.
     "This is really freaky," Nabiki mumbled as she, once again, felt
around in the pool for her daughter.
     "Didn't you say your sister had the same problem."  Jeff was
leaning forward now, his arms crossed and stroking his chin.  "Try a
little to your left.  She seems to be making progress across the
bottom."
     "You don't think it's hereditary, do you?"  Nabiki sounded
worried as she finally retrieved her daughter and repeated the face
wiping, toddler sputtering, eye blinking routine.
     "Could be.  Still, it doesn't seem to bother your sister all that
much."  With the 'rescue' of his daughter, Jeff sat back on his lounge
to consider the ramifications.
     "Maybe, but my sister is not supposed to be a nin-ja," Nabiki
taunted by spreading out the word ninja in a sassy way as she carried
her daughter to the side of the pool.
     "Ninjaaaa!" Sodoshi crowed.
     "Oh shut up," Nabiki mumbled and started to climb out.
     Jeff couldn't help but chuckle at his wife's reaction.  Sodoshi
had no idea what she was talking about.  Nabiki, on the other hand,
did.  She was still highly resistant to her daughter undergoing *any*
training in the hands of Master Sato or anyone else that might turn
her into one of those 'damned shadow warriors'.  As the last elder of
her own clan, she was determined that her daughter would be nothing
less than a jonin; an elder in training.  She would develop her mind
and *not* all that martial arts nonsense.
     "We'll try this again tomorrow," Nabiki said as she handed
Sodoshi to Jeff.
     While Nabiki turned to pick up a towel off the neighboring chase
lounge, Jeff made some remark about how his wife's bikini had slipped
sufficiently to expose the dark valley between her tight little
buttocks.  
     Nabiki froze for a second, bent over, her back to her husband.  A
number of possible responses scrolled past her mind.  She chose the
one that suited her mood.
     <Well, if he wants a show...> she mused with a tiny smile.
     Slowly, she reached back with both hands and sensuously ran her
middle fingers along the perimeter of her bikini bottoms, as if
checking Jeff's claim - only the slight arching of her back betrayed
her own excitement at such a performance.  Jeff swallowed hard as her
delicate fingers glided across the edge of her bottoms before
seductively adjusting the sparse material to cover as much of her
anatomy as it would allow.  A sly smile slowly graced her face as she
looked over her shoulder at Jeff and reached down to toy with one of
the tiny strings that held her bottoms together.  She had Jeff's total
attention.  Sodoshi, however, was busy watching the neighbor's cat
stalk some birds perched on the top of their privacy fence.
     Pinching the end of one of the strings between her index finger
and thumb, Nabiki slowly pulled the tiny lanyard until the knot held. 
For a few agonizing seconds, the whole world seemed to hold its
collective breath, waiting for Nabiki to finish.  With a sly smile and
a gentle tug, the knot popped free.  As her bottoms started to peel
away from her shapely backside, she quickly wrapped a large beach
towel around her waist, securing it with a tuck.  Turning and taking a
step towards the quickly breathing Jeffrey, Nabiki seductively exposed
a long shapely leg which ended with her foot on the lounge, her toes
almost caressing the crease of his ever tightening swim suit.  With
another seductive smile, Nabiki reached through the opening caused by
the towel ends coming together to slowly pull the remaining string
that held the bottom half of her suit to her shapely body.  As her
husband's bemused look dissolved into mild surprise, Nabiki's wet
bikini bottoms dropped to the concrete deck with a 'splat'.  Assuming
a position with her feet on either side of her, now discarded, bikini
bottoms, Nabiki gently ran her fingers across her firm stomach and
slowly down her thighs.  Like a Marilyn Monroe character, Nabiki's
face assumed a pouty look of sexual excitement as her fingers slowly
drew the front of her improvised skirt upward, exposing her beautiful
legs almost to their apex.  She paused for a moment, smiled at her
husband, and abruptly released the beach towel so that it resumed its
proper place, completely covering her from waist to below her knees. 
With a demure look, Nabiki knelt to pick up her discarded bottoms and
nonchalantly tossed them to Jeffrey, who caught the tiny garment with
one hand.  He couldn't help but notice how much of it fit into the
palm of that hand.
     With a sassy, satisfied shake of her hips and a supreme look of
accomplishment, Nabiki turned and disappeared into the house to shower
and dress.  Jeff draped his wife's discarded bikini bottoms over the
beach chair next to him, rolled his eyes sky-ward, and blew out a deep
breath.
     "Nabs, you still know the right buttons to push," he mumbled.
     "Mommy!" Sodoshi crowed as she finally turned back in time to see
her mother enter the house.
     "And then some."  Jeff stared at the door until he was able to
rope in his libido.  Breaking out of his reverie, he smiled to his
daughter.  "Want a panda-back ride inside?"
     Sodoshi squealed with delight as her daddy got off the lounge and
offered his back to her.  Wrapping her arms around his neck, she
happily clung to her daddy as he carried her giggling into the house.

*****  *****

     Nabiki sighed as the rest of that particular summer danced
through her mind.  It had been as idyllic as any she could remember. 
Even if Sodoshi never did learn to swim.
     Jeff shifted his position slightly to place an arm around
Nabiki's shoulders and drew her into a tighter snuggle.  Gently,
Nabiki nuzzled her way to a comfortable position with her head resting
on his chest, her hand gently teasing the fine hair on his thigh.  One
of the characters in the movie was just announcing she was going to
marry the local sheriff.  Nabiki thought back to another recent
wedding, one involving a certain Tendo sister and a handsome young
doctor.


***** [Last month - Tendo Home in Nerima] *****

     "Oh, there you are," Akane sighed like this was the end of a long
search.  In fact, she found her sister exactly where she expected to
find her; in her old room, seated on her desk chair, and staring out
the window.
     At the sound of Akane's voice, Nabiki slowly turned her half-opened 
eyes towards her sister.  Both were still casually dressed in
spite of it being so close to the wedding.
     "Kasumi will be ready for us to get her dressed in a few
minutes."  Akane sighed as she slumped onto the end of the bed.  "It's
going to be weird having both of you married.  I guess that just
leaves me."
     "What's the matter?  Lover-boy getting cold feet?"  Nabiki teased
lightly.  She acted like even this much of a taunt required great
effort.  Teasing Akane wasn't as much fun as it once was.  Perhaps it
was because of all they had been through together.  Perhaps it was
more the result of them growing up.
     "No," Akane shook her head as she collapsed back onto the queen-sized 
bed, flinging her arms out wide.  "We've agreed to not get
married until we both graduate college, get the dojo working again,
and build up some money."
     "What about all his.... diversions?"  Nabiki almost sounded
interested as she shifted position to better look at her sister.  She
knew well the troubles her sister and her fiance faced.  Troubles
Nabiki couldn't do much about, unless she wanted to do something
illegal.  Above all else, she wanted to see Akane happy.  Since
Akane's happiness was now tied up in Ranma, his problems were now
hers.
     "That too."  Akane draped an arm casually over her eyes, like she
didn't want to see the images that were conjured up by the names:
Shampoo, Ukyou, and Kodachi.  "We'll have to deal with them before we
marry.  Else there'll be no end to the trouble they'll cause."
     Nabiki nodded her agreement and looked out the window again.  She
knew Akane was talking about doing the impossible - at least, with all
three.
     "Kodachi won't give up, Shampoo can't give up, and Ukyou...,"
Nabiki observed while looking out of the window.
     "And that doesn't even address the 'fiances' we don't know about
yet," Akane snorted from behind her arm.
     "If Genma Saotome were *my* father-in-law, I'd douse him with
cold water and sell him to the nearest zoo."  Nabiki scowled at the
passing clouds.  
     Nabiki didn't think much of Ranma's father, considering him a
lazy financial leech.  She saw the forced engagement as only another
ploy by the elder Saotome to secure himself a comfortable retirement,
complete with a dutiful daughter-in-law to care for him when he got
old.  Nabiki wrinkled her nose distastefully at the Japanese practice
of the wife caring for her husband's parents as they aged and thanked
her lucky stars that Jeff's parents were determined to retire to
Florida, about as far away from Hawaii as they could get while still
remaining in the United States.  It wasn't as if she disliked them. 
On the contrary, she really liked his mother.  She had even toyed with
the idea of letting her live with them, once Jeff's father passed on. 
But Nabiki valued her privacy and independence.  Such would be
severely tested should she invite retired family members into her
home.  And Nabiki really *hated* having her independence curtailed.
     For several minutes, both girls quietly savored the image of
Genma-panda pacing behind the bars of his zoo compound.
     "I'm sure going to miss Oneechan," Akane finally lamented.
     "Now Akane, you know perfectly well that Daddy agreed to this
wedding on the condition that Tofu-sensei moves in here.  He even gave
them the room down by the bath."  
     Nabiki seemed amused at her father's 'deal' with Tofu.  While it
got the good doctor out of his dingy little apartment behind his
clinic, it also made sure that old Soun Tendo would not go a day
without a good Kasumi meal.  She had to agree that Soun was as big a
schemer as Genma.  It was just *he* placed his family before his own
comfort.
     "Yeah, but it'll still be different."  Akane sat up and stretched
while stifling a yawn.
     "I don't see how.  She'll still be here, cooking, cleaning, and
doing the laundry."
     "But what if she gets pregnant?"
     Nabiki slowly turned to scowl at her younger sister.
     "You'll cope."
     "But what if I have to.... cook?"
     "Then they'll cope."  Nabiki shook her head, convinced her sister
was worrying about nothing.  "Besides, it's time you learned how to
cook anyway."
     "You know better than that," Akane pouted and folded her hands
into her lap.  "I just can't do it."
     "Oh, for Pete's sake, take a class or something."  Nabiki growled
at her little sister.  Akane was acting helpless again, something she
decidedly was not, and it irritated Nabiki to no end.  "At least learn
how to use the microwave I bought you last New Years."
     Akane just pouted at her knees as she fidgeted on the bed trying
to think of another excuse why she couldn't learn how to cook.  Nabiki
was correct about one thing, since she started buying modern
appliances for the Tendo household, it was becoming easier for anyone
to function, after a fashion, in the kitchen.  Even Soun Tendo knew
how to use the new microwave oven to heat up a frozen pizza or indulge
in his latest gastronomic passion - popcorn.  So there was no excuse
for Akane to be acting so helpless.
     A knock on Nabiki's door averted any further discussion of
Akane's cooking problems.  There would be time for such later.
     "Nabiki?  Are you in there?"  It was Kasumi.  Nervous,
apprehensive and a little scared but still functioning - sort of.
     "You ready to put on the 'Kimono from hell'?"  Nabiki stifled a
chuckle, remembering how hot and uncomfortable it was wearing the
multilayered, heavy, and sweltering traditional wedding kimono.  At
least her sister had the good sense to hold her wedding in early
December.  Still, she couldn't wait to see how Kasumi liked wearing
that thing.  She especially couldn't wait to help apply the
traditional 'white face'.  
     "Yes.... I guess...."  Kasumi picked nervously at the door as she
hunted for the right words to what she wanted to ask Nabiki.
     Nabiki could tell her sister was working on a problem.  It was so
blatantly obvious by the way she just stood in the doorway, acting so
nervous and all.
     "We have some time yet.  Why don't you come in and sit awhile?" 
Nabiki returned to looking out the window as Kasumi hesitantly moved
to the opposite end of the bed from Akane.  Sitting abruptly, she
fidgeted with the hem of her skirt while casting uncomfortable glances
at her youngest sister.
     "It's been a long time since we all gathered in Nabiki's room,"
Akane chirped, resuming her 'little sister' act.  It was times like
this when she really liked being the youngest.  Her eyes flashed
mischievously as she looked between her sisters.  She just *knew* this
was going to be good.
     Kasumi abruptly nodded her agreement to Akane's observation
before resuming her nervous hem teasing.  It was uncomfortably obvious
something was on Oneechan's mind.  Nabiki, tired of the subtle
approach - for now, decided to get whatever it was out in the open.
     "So, what's on your mind, sis?"  Nabiki continued to look out the
window, maintaining her calm demeanor while probing her sister for the
truth to her visit.
     "In all the times we've talked.... since you got married, I
mean."  Kasumi paused and grimaced at her clumsiness in approaching
this subject.  She'd rehearsed it many times over the last few days -
it didn't make it any easier.  "We never discussed one thing."
     Nabiki slowly turned her head, still supported by her fist, to
face her sister.  A small smile spread over her face.
     "Sex?"
     "NO," Kasumi protested, looking briefly at her younger sister
before resuming her bowed position.  The very sound of the word had
unraveled Kasumi slightly.  "I mean....  Something else."
     "Well, outside of cooking and cleaning, what else is there?" 
Nabiki was really enjoying this now.  She had Kasumi practically
twitching with her nervousness.  Akane leaned a little closer.
     "Oh, Nabiki, I just want to know what it's like being married." 
Kasumi punctuated her frustration by flopping her hands into her lap
and casting her sister a pleading look.
     Nabiki stared at her older sister for several seconds, evaluating
just how serious to make her answer.
     "I thought you knew all there was to know about marriage."
     "I know *how* to be a good marriage prospect and *how* to take
care of babies, Nabiki.  Not even my married friends will tell me what
it's like.... you know."  Kasumi succumbed to her nervousness again
and hung her head to hide her blush.  Akane leaned in even closer.
     "Sex?"
     "Ooooh, is that all you think about?"  Kasumi waved her arms in
frustration, finishing with her cheek supported on her fist, a
wickedly irritated look on her face.  "There's *got* to be more to
marriage than just.... *that*."
     Nabiki almost laughed out loud.  Her sister couldn't even use the
word in a sentence.  Rolling her eyes, she lamented poor Tofu and his
wedding night.
     "Well, with Jeffrey it's one of the side benefits."  Nabiki was
grinning ear to ear now.  Kasumi continued to scowl at the floor. 
Akane gulped and leaned over so far she practically fell off the bed. 
It sounded to Akane like her sister was about to share the 'mother of
all' juicy parts.
     "There's just *got* to be more to marriage than cooking,
cleaning, and... you know."
     "Of course.  There's also cold feet in bed, persistent snoring,
leaving the toilet seat up, can't hit the clothes hamper with his
socks, forgets to mow the lawn on weekends, sneaks out to play golf
with his friends, and can't seem to remember important dates like your
birthday."  Nabiki sized up her sister with every revelation.  She
could almost see the impact of each item as she delivered it.
     "Really?" Akane gasped.  "Why up?"
     Nabiki slowly rolled her head with a look of pity on her face
towards her little sister.  Akane immediately figured she asked the
wrong question and slowly lowered her head to hide her embarrassment.
     Kasumi's eyes quickly raced across the floor trying to fit each
of these things into her pre-conceived notion of marriage.  For the
life of her, she only considered the cooking, cleaning, and the taking
care of babies part of marriage.  She never considered all the
'little' things that went along with sharing one's life with another
person.
     "Snoring?"  Kasumi finally managed to squeak.  She couldn't even
conceive of her Tofu making such a disgusting noise in his sleep.
     "Yeah, but a firm foot in his mid-section usually solves the
problem."  Nabiki continued to maintain her bored, dead-pan expression
while revealing to her sisters the finer points of matrimony. 
"There's nothing you can do about the toilet seat thing.  I know, I've
tried."
     Kasumi started to ask something but aborted the attempt due to
the question being either too embarrassing or too strange to ask. 
Nabiki figured she'd just add a few other points to the mix.
     "Oh, and you got to keep a close eye on them or they'll try to
wear the same underwear two days in a row."
     "Eeeeeeww!" Akane's face screwed into a disgusted look to go
along with her pronouncement.  Nabiki's annoyed glance caused her to
cross her arms and pout at being treated like a child.  "How am I
supposed to learn anything if you won't let me talk?" she mumbled.
     "And for some reason, they never seem to remember to put the new
roll of toilet paper on the spindle.  When they run out, they just
grab a new roll and leave it on the counter when they're done." 
Nabiki resumed looking out the window, making sure she could see
Kasumi's reflection in the glass to catch her older sister's reaction.
     "And kids are a bundle of fun too.  There's 3 AM feedings,
spitting up, childhood diseases, and my personal favorite, diapers
with the most disgusting contents."
     Akane was about to react once more but Nabiki's sideways glance
cut her off.  Again, the youngest Tendo crossed her arms in a huff and
pouted.
     "So, Oneechan, you ready to take that big step now?"  Nabiki
rubbed her hands together like she was about to close a deal.  Kasumi
looked shell shocked, her mouth working like a beached fish.  Akane
continued to stew.
     "Yup, you look just about ready."  Nabiki was *really* enjoying
this now.  "All that's left is to wrap you up and deliver you to the
good doctor."
     Nabiki rose from her seat and held a hand out for Kasumi.  Akane,
anxious to have *some* fun, quickly joined her older sister.  Kasumi,
however, paused both by raising one finger.
     "Just a moment," Kasumi said seriously.  "If I have to endure
snoring, cold feet, and toilet seats, perhaps you should tell me about
this... 'sex' thing."
     Nabiki covered her shock at hearing Kasumi use the word 'sex' by
casting a sly glance Akane's way.  Akane, always anxious to learn
something... juicy, immediately sat down next to Kasumi and eyed her
older sister in anticipation.  Nabiki just shrugged her shoulders and
resumed her seat.  *This* was going to be one of the most interesting
discussions ever held in the old Tendo home.
     In the hallway, should anyone have been within ear shot, the low
buzzing of conversation coming from Nabiki's room was suddenly
punctuated by Akane's shocked exclamation.
     "He does WHAT?"

     Downstairs, Jeff was anxiously hunting for someone to watch
Sodoshi.  Tofu, quite nervous about the whole ceremony, was in Soun's
room, staring at the wall, his glasses totally fogged.  Genma and Soun
had tried to help earlier but their advice only pushed the poor doctor
further into his trance.  Jeff figured Tofu just needed a little...
peer-group help getting ready.
     Finding Ranma sitting in front of the TV, Jeff thought he had the
problem solved.  He also decided Ranma would be a most reluctant 
baby-sitter, so he had to act fast.
     "Ranma, I need your help," Jeff began as he towed his daughter
towards Akane's fiance.  "Tofu is crashed in Soun's room staring at
the wall.  I'm going to try and snap him out of it but I need someone
to watch Sodoshi for a few minutes."
     Ranma's eyes went from the TV to Jeff to Sodoshi and back to Jeff
again.  It wasn't as if he didn't like Sodoshi.  On the contrary, he
found a lot to like in his feisty little niece.  It was just that he
had never been left alone with the girl and had no idea how to
entertain someone so young.
     Before Ranma could protest, Sodoshi made the decision for him. 
While holding a small cup of fruit juice in one hand, she disengaged
herself from her father with the other and gently took her Uncle
Ranma's hand.  The warmth of her touch and the innocent look in her
eyes seemed to melt the martial artist who, reluctantly, agreed to
watch Sodoshi - for a few minutes.
     Jeff hurriedly departed to help Tofu, leaving Ranma and Sodoshi
alone.
     "Well...," Ranma improvised.  "Do you like TV?"
     Sodoshi nodded eagerly.  The TV in question was showing one of
those silly Japanese slapstick comedy shows that Sodoshi was
prohibited from watching back home.  The female actress was just
leaning over so her slinky mounted fake 'breasts' abruptly dropped to
the floor.  The TV audience roared with laughter.  Ranma chuckled like
a kid.  He really liked this show.
     Sodoshi, in order to make herself more comfortable, tried to
climb into her Uncle Ranma's lap.  Unfortunately, little children were
never intended to climb and hold glasses of fruit juice at the same
time.  Just as she got her knee on her uncle's leg, the tiny glass
spilled, dumping its entire contents over Ranma's legs.
     Ranma gritted his teeth and valiantly fought the inevitable.  It
was just a little moisture, he thought.  Perhaps he could fight its
effect.  As usual, he lost.
     For Sodoshi, it was like trying to climb into someone's lap
during an earthquake.  Her little fingers gripped Ranma's black pants
to keep from being thrown off by his trembling body.  In moments, the
shaking stopped and Sodoshi completed her climb.  As she raised her
head, she collided with something warm and soft that reminded her of
her mother.
     With a scowl, Sodoshi turned her head to look at Ranma.  Instead
of a dark haired male, she was confronted with a red-headed, big
busted, female who was trying to smile.  Quickly, Sodoshi scrambled
off Ranma's lap and stood just out of arms reach, staring at the
strange woman.
     With a sigh, Ranma-chan leaned forward and rested her cheek on
her fist, her look of resignation growing.
     Sodoshi couldn't figure out what happened to her Uncle Ranma.  He
was here just a minute ago.  She bent over and looked under the table
and across the room where a cupboard was slid open.  There was no sign
of her uncle anywhere.  Looking back at the strange woman, Sodoshi set
her jaw and frowned.
     "Where Uncle Ranma?" she demanded.
     "Believe it or not, *I'm* your Uncle Ranma."
     Sodoshi considered the possibilities for a few seconds before
stating her conclusions.
     "You not Uncle Ranma.  Uncle Ranma *boy*.  You girl."  Sodoshi's
face locked into a 2 year-old's version of her mother's 'look'.
     Before Ranma could counter Sodoshi's assertion, he was rescued by
Nabiki - well, sort of.  Returning from explaining the facts of life
to her sisters, Nabiki came looking for her daughter.  It was time to
dress Kasumi and she wanted Sodoshi to be there.
     "Mommy, she not Uncle Ranma," Sodoshi accused as she ran to her
mother.  "Uncle Ranma *boy*."
     Nabiki picked up her daughter and shot Ranma a sly smile. 
Somehow, he got the feeling he was in worse trouble now.
     "Cousin Ranko shouldn't tease you like that."  Nabiki tried to
hide her grin from Sodoshi while needling Ranma.  "Honestly, Ranko,
teasing a small child..."
     "Yeah," Sodoshi echoed, her face still graced by her own 'look of
warning'.
     Ranma-chan tried to explain but Nabiki was still too fast for
her.
     "Come on, sweetheart," Nabiki cooed to her daughter as she
started to walk towards Kasumi's new room.  "Your Aunt Kasumi needs
our help getting ready for the wedding."
     Sodoshi's scowl towards Ranma-chan accompanied their departure.
     "Well, it could have been worse," Ranma-chan muttered.
     It got worse.
     "Ranma!" Akane's voice proceeded her into the main room.  She too
was on her way to help her sister dress.  The sight of her fianc‚ in
his female form was not what she wished to see right now.  "Why are
you fooling around now?  We have to get ready for the wedding."
     "But, Sodoshi..." Ranma tried to explain as he pointed the
direction Nabiki and Sodoshi had taken.
     "Oh, you were trying to entertain So-chan," Akane chirped. 
"That's different."
     "It is?"  Ranma-chan pushed herself upright and stared at Akane. 
She'd never gotten off this easily before.
     "Of course, silly."  Akane giggled behind her hand.
     Just then, Sodoshi peaked around the corner from the hallway.
     "You not Uncle Ranma.  Uncle Ranma *boy*," she accused.  As Akane
quickly caught on to what was happening, her eyes twinkled
mischievously at the prospects.  Ranma, however, totally missed it.
     "Yeah, Ranma *boy*," Akane duplicated her little niece's claim,
adding her own twist to the word 'boy' while attempting to mimic
Sodoshi's firm-lipped scowl.
     "No, I...."
     "And a pervert too."  Akane quickly crossed the room and picked
up her niece, fighting all the while the urge to break out laughing. 
     "Pervert?" Sodoshi repeated questioningly.  She had no idea what
that meant, in either language.
     "Come on, So-chan.  I'll explain it to you while we help Aunt
Kasumi get dressed."
     "But..." Ranma-chan tried to explain again.
     Akane just shook her head in mock disgust.
     "Uncle Ranma pervert," Sodoshi repeated with a look of supreme
confidence.
     Akane happily cuddled her niece and left for Kasumi and Tofu's
room.  Their departure was accompanied by the sound of someone banging
their head on the table.

     "Tofu?"  Jeff called from the open doorway.  "Sensei?"
     The figure seated on the floor, staring at the small shrine, made
no move.  Jeff sighed, shook his head and entered carrying a large
bottle of sake and two glasses.  He thought all he would need is a
little sake to 'relax' the good doctor.  However, seeing the look on
Tofu's face, Jeff got the impression he was going to need the whole
bottle.
     "Doing a little yoga to relax, sensei?"  Jeff poured the first
glass while watching carefully for Tofu's reaction.
     "Mother's here," Tofu said flatly.
     Jeff quickly started scanning the room for ghosts.
     "I thought Kasumi's mother was stuck guarding Fukoono?"
     "Not *her* mother, *my* mother."  Tofu shook his head sadly.
     Jeff blinked a few times, trying to fit how Tofu's mother being
here was something to cause the groom to hide like a little kid. 
Seconds passed as the glass Jeff was filling started to overflow. 
With a grunt of disgust, Jeff quickly set the bottle down and shook
the excess sake from his hand.
     "Here, drink this," Jeff suggested while holding the full glass
of sake in front of Tofu.  "So, what's the problem of your mother
being here?"
     "You don't understand," Tofu took the glass from Jeff and quickly
downed a gulp big enough to cause even Jeff to wince.  "She's got her
envelope with her again."
     "What envelope?" Jeff asked very slowly, like they were talking
about some FedEx package from hell or something.
     "The envelope she carries with the girls in it."
     "Girls?"
     Tofu fidgeted and shifted to frowning at the floor.
     "She's been after me to marry one of the girls in her envelope
for... I don't know how many years."  Tofu punctuated his frustration
with a wave of his free hand.
     "Are you telling me she doesn't approve of Kasumi?"
     "No, no, no, it's not that - exactly," Tofu grimaced.  "It's
just... well, she's not sure Kasumi will be able to produce..."
     "Produce?"
     "... babies - children - offspring."  Tofu was back to waving his
hand in frustration.
     Jeff was silent for a few moments as his mind sorted through
Tofu's problem.  He tried to put Kasumi in some of the sexual hijinks
Nabiki was so fond of.  His mind kept rejecting the scene as
impossible.  In fact, he couldn't imagine Kasumi even in bed with a
man, much less....
     "Kasumi has been studying hard all her life to become a good wife
and mother," Tofu said like he was trying to convince his mother as he
stared at the small shrine.  "I'm sure she'll be able to produce fine
children."
     Jeff only half heard Tofu's declaration as he was still trying to
imagine Kasumi having sex.  It just wasn't adding up.  The only thing
*he* could see was Kasumi locking herself in the bathroom on their
honeymoon, only emerging to catch a plane home.  Jeff shook his head
out of pity for the doctor.
     Their discussion was interrupted by a knock at their door.  When
Jeff opened it, he saw a short, squat older lady carrying a large
manila envelope that looked full.
     "There you are, son," she said in Japanese while bowing her way
past Jeff.  "I would feel much better about this wedding if I knew you
had fully examined the girls I've picked out for you."
     Jeff just closed the door, leaned lightly against the wall, and
poured himself another glass of sake.  This, was going to be
interesting.
     "I hate to do this in front of the gaijin," she almost whispered,
casting a nervous look towards Jeffrey.  Jeff just grinned, nodded
like a goofy gaijin who didn't understand the language, and raised his
glass in an abrupt toast to Tofu's mother.  "Just look at these girls
one more time."
     "Mother, I've seen them a hundred times.  Every time you come to
visit, you bring the same envelope with the same girls in it."  Tofu
shook his head sadly.  "If I haven't picked one out before, why do you
think I'm going to pick one out now?"
     "It's just this Tendo Kasumi girl is so.... thin.  Are you sure
she's the best match for you?  What's her blood type?"  Tofu's mother
seemed to be putting on her last gasp attempt to convince her son to
reconsider.  
     As mothers go, she was a master of persuasion.  Over the next few
minutes, she pleaded, she gestured, she did everything but fake a
heart attack to convince her son to take one last look at the
prospects in her envelope.
     "I love Kasumi and I'm going to marry her," Tofu said tiredly out
loud.
     "Tofu!" she admonished even louder.  "You shouldn't say such
things in front of the G-A-I-J-I-N."
     "Mother, the G-A-I-J-I-N speaks better Japanese than Y-O-U."
     "Oh," his mother reacted with an embarrassed hand over her mouth. 
"Please forgive me, mister...."  She paused with a confused look on
her face.
     Tofu did the introductions.  Only to have his mother grab the
front of his yukata and hiss a question his way.  Jeff saw the grab
but totally missed the question.
     "Did you say: Lawrence-san?  THE Lawrence-san?"  Even Tofu's
mother knew of Jeff Lawrence and his millions.  As a career
'matchmaker' she knew all the rich people and their families.
     "Yes, mother. *That* Lawrence-san."  Tofu was being just as quiet
with his reply as his mother was with the question.
     "I'll bet he knows lots of young, wealthy, and eligible
bachelors," she said softly as she eyed the nervous looking Jeff
Lawrence.  Jeff had correctly surmised that they were talking about
him.
     "Mother, haven't you grown out of your matchmaking yet?"
     "A woman never grows out of wanting to see healthy young ladies
happily married and producing healthy babies."  She sounded a bit
indignant with her protest.
     "Mother, please don't do this," Tofu finally said in a loud
voice.
     "Tofu...," she replied with a condescending look and innocent
smile that clearly indicated her mind was already made up.  Tofu just
shook his head.
     Mrs. Ono turned to look at Jeffrey, her smile positively
predatory.
     Jeff tried to grin but it kept slipping into a trapped animal
expression.  As Tofu's mother closed in with her envelope of marriage
prospects, Jeff gulped down the remainder of the sake in his glass. 
Tofu just shook his head.  Mother was stalking big game and there was
nothing he could do about it.
     "I hope you were not offended by my earlier comments."  She was
acting uncomfortably apologetic.  "Perhaps we should take these out in
the main room and let my son finish getting dressed."  Her smile left
Jeff distinctly uneasy.
     Nodding nervously, Jeff opened the door and held it for her,
pausing only long enough before following to set the almost full sake
bottle on a small table just inside the door.
     As they walked down the hall, Jeff pulled the first photo out. 
He was trying to be nice to Tofu's mother.  He didn't have the heart
to tell her he knew of no eligible bachelors but figured he'd just
look at the pictures anyway - just to prove he could be nice.
     <How bad could they be,> he thought as he pulled out the first
picture. <After all, she's his mother and I'm sure she has only his
best interest in... OH MY GOD!>
     Jeff jerked to a halt staring at, what appeared to him to be, a
sumo wrestler - a very large, potentially female sumo wrestler.
     "She's such a healthy young lady, isn't she?" Tofu's mother
excitedly noted.  "She would make a wonderful wife for some lucky
young man."
     <Lady, she'd make a wonderful linebacker for some lucky football
team.> Jeff swallowed hard, smiled, and nodded his 'agreement'.
     As they sat down at the empty main room table (Ranma having long
since dealt with his 'problem' and was now up in his room changing)
Tofu's mother proceeded to outline the girl's qualifications, taking
special care to note her strong hips - perfect for bearing many
children.  Jeff continued his painful smile while nodding to
everything she said.
     "She's quite... healthy looking," Jeff offered as he started to
sweat.
     "Yes and from a good family too."  Mrs. Ono assumed a
contemplative look.  "Didn't you marry the middle Tendo daughter?" 
     "Yes, the Tendos are a noble family, adhering to the traditions
of their ancestors."  Jeff sounded confident as he assured Tofu's
mother of the tradition of the noble house of Tendo.
     "Sodoshi!"  Nabiki's voice echoed down the hall.
     "What was that?"
     Before Jeff could answer, Sodoshi, dressed only in her underwear,
her body streaked with 'white face' and wearing the bride's headdress,
came tearing through the main room heading for the front door.  Right
behind her was an irritated Nabiki, dressed in a loose fitting yukata
and streaks of 'white face' smeared all over her exposed flesh,
yelling for her daughter to stop running and making valiant grabs at
the giggling Sodoshi.
     Mrs. Ono, looking surprised, watched as Sodoshi changed course,
rounded the table, and headed back down the hall.
     "Come back here, you little weasel!"  Nabiki made one last lunge
for her daughter but only accomplished tripping over Jeff's pillow and
tumbling across the room.  Cursing in English, Nabiki gathered herself
and took off down the hall after her daughter.  Jeff quietly continued
to look through the photographs, totally ignoring the chase going on
around him.
     "Ah, wasn't that one of the Tendo girls?" Mrs. Ono asked, her
shock over what just happened clearly evident.
     "As a matter of fact, that was my wife"
     "And the little girl?"
     "My daughter."
     "Oh..."  Mrs. Ono paused trying to fit everything that just
happened into place.  "Isn't that a bit...."
     "Unusual?" Jeff finished for her.  "I suppose it is, but we've
gotten used to it." 
     Mrs. Ono stared bug-eyed at the table as she tried to imagine
being related to such a family.  Her thoughts quickly turned to the
many girls who's pictures now lay scattered across the table.
     "Ah.... Perhaps.... ah.... now is not the best time to be looking
at these pictures."  Tofu's mother quickly gathered up all the photos
and returned them to her envelope.  If Nabiki was any indication as to
what happens to proper Japanese girls from a good family *after*
marriage to an American, well, she was not going to be responsible for
corrupting any other young ladies.  
     As Mrs. Ono finished gathering up her pictures, Sodoshi came
running through the room again, still dressed only in her underwear. 
This time, Jeff snagged her with a quickly extended arm and reeled in
the giggling little girl.
     "But, you have to admit, Tendo girls produce perfect babies,"
Jeff grinned as he held up his giggling daughter like 'Exhibit A'.
     "Yes... I suppose... You'll excuse me, won't you?"  Tofu's mother
quickly disappeared with her envelope of potential brides. 
Matchmaking would have to wait for another day.
     Jeff was tickling his daughter when an exhausted Nabiki showed
up.
     "Well, we're finally finished," she sighed while brushing some
hair out from in front of her face.  "Now all I have to do is get So-chan 
and myself ready."
     "And Kasumi?"
     "The fathers will be along in a few minutes to move her to the
'viewing'."  Nabiki crossed her arms and leaned against the wall.  "I
guess I better get the 'wild child' here upstairs, cleaned up and into
her dress."
     "So, what happened with our little 'painted lady' back there?" 
Jeff tickled Sodoshi's little round tummy causing her to squeal with
delight.
     "She tried to help put the 'white face' on Kasumi... then
herself... and finally me."  Nabiki directed her mildly bemused look
of disdain at her daughter.  "She ruined a perfectly good pair of
slacks and a nice blouse with all that stuff."
     "Well, that explains the chase."
     "Yeah," Nabiki sighed before her look changed to curious.  "Just
who was that lady in here with you?"
     "Tofu's mother."  Jeff tickled Sodoshi again.
     "What did *she* want?"
     "From the looks of things, she was peddling potential brides."
     "You're kidding.  A matchmaker?"
     "Yeah, and judging from all her 'clients', a pretty successful
one at that."
     "Did Tofu see her?"
     "Unfortunately, yes.  I had to let her con me into leaving him
alone."
     "Speaking of the groom, is he ready?"
     "Oooops," Jeff muttered.  "I forgot all about him."
     "You better check on him while I take care of our daughter."
     Dismissed, Jeff made a bee-line to Tofu's dressing room.  Opening
the door, he found a very mellow Tofu, fully dressed and finishing off
the last of the sake.
     "Ah, brother-in-law," Tofu slurred as he tried to look down the
neck of the empty sake bottle.  "Did you pick me out a bride?"
     <Uh ooooh,> Jeff thought as he placed both hands on top of his
head. <We're both dead, sensei.>
     "You know, I'll bet Betty would know how to handle mother."  Tofu
tried to stand but was only able to roll over onto his side.  In
Western terms, the guy was totally bagged.
     Moving quickly, Jeff closed the door and tried to right the
drunken doctor while straightening his clothes and smoothing his hair. 
No matter how hard Jeff worked, Tofu wasn't looking any better.  A
sudden knock at the door didn't help matters any.
     "Are you ready in there?"  It was Akane's voice.
     "Just a minute," Jeff called as he quickly looked around the room
for something to prop the doctor up against.  Spotting Soun's desk
chair, he released the doctor, who promptly rolled over onto his back,
and pulled the chair over next to the pillow where Kasumi was supposed
to sit for the viewing.
     "Jeffrey?"  Akane's voice was beginning to sound like it did when
she and Ranma had one of their 'disagreements'.
     "Just a minute, Akane."  Jeff grabbed the limp Tofu and hauled
him over to the chair.  With a grunt, he placed the doctor in the
chair and quickly looked for something to prop him up.
     "Jeffrey!  Kasumi's coming.  What are you doing in there?"
     "We're almost ready!" Jeff called back as he spied Soun's family
sword display.  Grabbing the midnight blue katana from its stand, he
used it as a primitive support to prop up the drunken Tofu, making
sure the doctor's hand was also grasping the ray skin grip.  As an
after thought, he pulled the tanto from its scabbard and carefully
slid it around the slats of the chair and through the back of Tofu's
belt; effectively pinning the doctor to his seat.  With a little
adjustment, he was able to cover the tanto with the loose folds of the
doctor's wedding kimono.
     "Now, don't move.  Don't talk.  And try to smile."  Jeff finished
by quickly adjusting Tofu's tunic, fixing his glasses, and patting his
hair into place.
     "I think I'm going to be sick," Tofu whined.  The look on his
face spoke volumes as to his condition.
     "Oh, God.  No."  Jeff covered his face with his hand.
     "JEFFREY!"
     "Okay, okay.  I'm coming!"  Jeff took one last look at the groom
before groaning as he walked to the door. <Nabiki's gonna kill me.>
     Jeff stopped, his hand on the door knob, slowly took a few
calming breaths and looked apprehensively at Tofu before opening the
door.
     "Hi Akane.  We're ready now.  My you look lovely."  Jeff tried to
smile and look calm.  It wasn't working.
     "I haven't changed yet, baka," she growled while scowling his
way.
     "Oh."
     "What were you doing in here?"  Akane pushed past Jeffrey and
into the room.  "Daddy and Mr. Saotome are bringing Kasumi and I'm
supposed to make sure everything's ready."
     Jeff shadowed Akane, pausing only to kick the empty sake bottle
under Soun's desk and out of sight.
     "What's with Tofu-sensei?" she asked after getting a good look at
the barely breathing groom.
     "He's... just nervous."
     "Nervous?"  Akane leaned in close to the doctor and sniffed. 
"He's DRUNK!" she accused with a look as lethal as any he could
remember.
     Only the sound of the fathers bringing Kasumi down the hallway
saved Jeff's life.  Akane glared at Jeffrey while bending over for
another look at the doctor.  Her second opinion confirmed her earlier
diagnosis.  The groom was totally 'under the influence'.
     "Jeffrey, what have you done?" Akane hissed through her tightly
clenched teeth as the fathers struggled to get Kasumi through the
door.
     "He'll be fine, Akane," Jeff hissed back through his own clenched
teeth while trying to smile to the fathers.  "If we just leave him
where he is and don't let him talk, we'll get through this."
     "What do you mean?  How are we going to get him into the dojo?"
Akane punctuated her question with a wave of her arm.
     "I'll think of something."
     Akane, apparently, wasn't convinced as her response was a
frustrated grunt and a roll of her eyes.
     "Is there something wrong?" Soun asked as he guided Kasumi to the
viewing pillow set in front of the window.  Fortunately, for all
concerned, the curtains were still drawn closed.
     "No," Jeff and Akane answered together with nervous smiles.
     Soun just nodded and smiled through his tears as he and Genma
positioned Kasumi on the pillow.  Akane quickly moved to arrange her
sister's kimono.
     "Now Oneechan, you mustn't talk or turn your head.  It'll....
it'll... cause your makeup to crack.  Remember what Nabiki went
through," Akane offered as she continued to shoot Jeff disapproving
looks while making sure everything about her sister was just right.
     Kasumi softly agreed without moving her lips and tried to assume
the 'virginal-innocent' look she had been working on all week.  Akane
continued to worry her kimono into place.
     Soun wiped his tears and pulled Jeffrey aside.
     "How did you know I wanted Tofu to hold the family sword at the
viewing?" he asked fighting back another round of tears.
     "Well..."  Jeff looked between Tofu and Soun several times trying
to formulate an answer.  "Lucky guess?"
     "You are a good son-in-law," Soun blubbered and he bowed
respectfully.  "I know Tofu-sensei is in good hands."
     <Tofu-sensei is snookered on his butt, sir.> Jeff smiled and
returned Soun's bow.
     As the father's departed, Akane slowly opened the curtains to
begin the 'viewing'.  Instantly, a flurry of flashbulbs went off as
the gathered crowd recorded the couple for posterity.  This only made
things worse for Tofu.  Now, instead of just having the room spinning,
it was also flashing like a strobe light in his eyes.  Rallying all
his martial arts training, Tofu fought his nausea and battled to
remain upright in the chair.  This was *not* how he had envisioned his
wedding day.  Besides, throwing up on the bride right now would be
considered a bad omen.
     Akane motioned for Jeffrey to follow her out of the room.  When
Jeff paused in the doorway to check Tofu once more, Akane concluded
their visit by grabbing the front of Jeff's yukata and yanking him
into the hall.  Pressing him up against a wall, Akane hissed her
warning.
     "When this is all over..."
     "Hey, it could be worse."
     "How?"
     "It could be raining."
     Jeff's last comment was punctuated by a clap of thunder outside. 
Slowly, both rolled their eyes skyward.  Jeff finished by closing his
eyes, shaking his head and cursing his bad luck.  Akane suddenly
released him.
     "I'm going to get dressed," she grumped while stomping away. 
"This *better* all work out."
     Jeff waited until she was up the stairs before responding.
     "Uncute tomboy," Jeff grumbled lightly to himself.
     "I heard that!"
     Jeff silently grimaced and snapped his fingers in disgust.
     "*That*, is one freaky chick," Jeff mumbled.
     "I am not!"
     That did it.  Totally convinced that, somehow, Akane was tapping
into his thoughts, Jeff quickly evacuated the building, heading for
the dojo.  As he left, he couldn't hear Akane giggling at her own
cleverness.  Kasumi had been sharing with her youngest sister all the
secrets of the old house.  One of those secrets was an unusual
acoustical property where if you stood in exactly the right place at
the top of the stairs, you could hear even the quietest conversation
in the downstairs hallway.
     As he worked his way towards the dojo, he thanked whomever built
the covered walkway between the house and the dojo for their
foresight.  Nerima was, for some reason, experiencing the oddest
weather.  Where it was normally cold and frosty, it was much warmer
and very rainy.  As he wormed his way around the milling guests, he
couldn't help but overhear whispered conversations about how unlucky
Tofu and Kasumi were because the unusual weather was, most certainly,
a bad omen for the marriage.
     To Jeff's surprise and pleasure, the first person he bumped into
in the dojo was the same Shinto priest who officiated at his and
Nabiki's wedding over two years ago.  They shared a few chuckles about
the oddness of that ceremony and how the priest had been telling
stories of the strange wedding to all his friends for the last two
years.  Somehow, that didn't make Jeff feel much better.  Still, he
had to admit, the wedding *was* most... unusual, even for the Tendos. 
The priest talked like he was relieved it was Kasumi's wedding as she
seemed to be the most 'normal' person in the Tendo family.  Jeff
started to say something about the fact that the rest of the family
would also be in attendance, but decided better of it.  No sense in
creating a problem where there was only the potential for a problem.
     One of the assistant priests gently requested everyone take their
places so the ceremony could begin.  As Jeff slid into his seat next
to Nabiki, he immediately sensed something was wrong.  He couldn't put
his finger on exactly what it was, but felt sure it was something
important.
     Tofu was the first to arrive.  By now, the sake had worked its
way sufficiently through him that the room was no longer spinning,
just tilting back and forth slightly.  Everyone in the dojo noticed
the tanto thrust through Tofu's belt without its scabbard.  A soft
buzzing broke out as the older guests debated amongst themselves the
significance of such a weapon and the manner in which it was being
carried.  Tofu's family concluded it must be some obscure shinobi
tradition in honor of the bride's family while Kasumi's family just
figured it was something strange from Tofu's side.  As Tofu staggered
up to the priest directly in front of the Lawrences, Jeff covered his
face and shook his head; totally missing Akane's glare.  
     As Kasumi was escorted before the priest, she looked exactly as
one would instruct a potential bride to look.  Everything was perfect. 
She bore the heavy wedding kimono in such an expert manner as to
suggest she had been in training for some time for just this moment. 
Her enigmatic smile covered her pleasure at this dream come true
wedding.  She was finally getting the man of her dreams, the
fulfillment of her mother's promise.  If only she could figure out why
he was bobbing about like a ship in a storm.
     Somewhere just prior to the sake sipping portion of the ceremony,
Jeff figured out what was missing.
     "Where's Sodoshi?" he whispered to his wife.
     "Akane's got her," Nabiki whispered back.
     Jeff looked past his wife to where Akane was sitting.
     "Akane's over there."  Jeff pointed out to Nabiki.  "Sodoshi's
not with *her*."
     "Where's Sodoshi?" Nabiki hissed Akane's way.  Tofu's family were
beginning to notice the intruding conversation by the bride's family. 
Their scowls conveyed their disapproval.
     "I left her with..."  Akane turned to look at her father.  "...
Daddy."
     "She's fine, daughter," Soun blubbered while wiping his eyes.  "I
left her in the care of Mrs. Suzuki."
     Jeff was about to ask if the man had totally lost his mind
leaving such an energetic young child in the care of such an aged
person when he felt a tug at his sleeve.  Turning with some
irritation, he came face to face with Mrs. Suzuki.
     "I hate to bother you," she croaked causing the priest to
interrupt his prayer.  Everyone in the room was following the
conversation now.  "But have you seen your daughter.  It would appear
I've misplaced her."
     "You what?!?"  Jeff practically jumped out of his seat.
     Before the old lady could answer, the priest leaned around the
groom and looked questionably at Jeff.
     "Excuse me, but I'm trying to conduct a wedding here."
     "I'm sorry, but we seem to have misplaced our daughter."
     "You're kidding."  The priest's dead-panned reply along with his
incredulous look adequately conveyed his disbelief.
     Tofu's mother just groaned out loud. *This* family was even
stranger than even *she* could imagine.
     "You go ahead," Jeff motioned to the priest.  "We'll catch up
later."
     The priest, quite used to what passed for normal in the Tendo
world, just shrugged his shoulders and cranked up his next prayer.
     "Suzuki-san, where exactly did you see her last?"
     "Well, we were inside the house and she needed to use the toilet. 
Well, you can imagine my surprise when she proved how she could use
the toilet by herself."  Nabiki slowly covered her face with her hand
and slid a little lower in her seat in embarrassment - keenly aware
that everyone in the dojo was looking at her.  "She really is advanced
for her age.  I remember one grandchild of mine who took forever to
get to that point.  He was in diapers until age 4.  Wet the bed until
he was 12."
     "Suzuki-san..."
     "Of course, I blame his mother for that.  Never did like her. 
Too keba-keba, if you know what I mean."
     "Suzuki-san..."
     "Then again, his father was no rocket scientist either.  Took me
forever to get *him* toilet trained."
     "Suzuki-san, where is Sodoshi?"  Jeff tried to be polite but
REALLY wanted to know the whereabouts of his daughter.
     "She was playing with the dog."  She blinked at Jeffrey like it
was something everyone knew.
     "WHERE?"
     "In the hallway by the front door."  Mrs. Suzuki blinked again
like she was being forced to reveal the obvious.
     "You let an animal live with you in your house?" one of Tofu's
family asked in disbelief.
     "That's nothing," Ranma chirped as he turned to address the
speaker.  "Akane used to sleep with a pig."
     Akane's reaction was swift and violent.  With a sideways punch
delivered without even a shocked look, Ranma flew across the room, his
body impacting the far wall upside down.  This just set off more
huddled conversation amongst the Ono family.  And the priest prayed
on.
     "Yes, but where is she now?" Nabiki interrupted in order to steer
the general conversation back around to her daughter.
     "That's what I came to tell you," Mrs. Suzuki sounded irritated
at having her train of thought derailed by all this questioning. "I
can't find her."
     "WHAT?!?" Jeff and Nabiki yelled in unison.  And the priest
prayed on.
     Just then the door to the dojo swung open and a wet, muddy figure
carrying a small dog came toddling up the aisle, dripping water and
leaving a trail of mud where ever she went.  Stopping next to Akane,
Sodoshi held out the small muddy animal to her aunt.
     "Ami-chan bad," she said seriously.  "Played outside.  Got all
dirty."
     Akane's mortified look was compounded when the little dog tried
to shake, sending water and mud in all directions and causing Sodoshi
to lose her grip sending the animal tumbling to the floor of the dojo. 
Only Sodoshi continued to grab for the dog when it started to shake
again, driving off all the finely dressed guests, including Akane and
Jeff.  However, Sodoshi's 23 month old reflexes weren't fast enough to
corral the slippery animal who took off through the gathered guests. 
Sodoshi, a determined look on her face, set out in hot pursuit.
     While all this was going on, the priest began waving his gohei,
attempting to drive away evil spirits from the ceremony.  He looked
like a man trying to swat flies as he took a few extra swipes in
Sodoshi's direction as she ran past.  To cover the noise Sodoshi was
making, he prayed even louder.
     Kasumi and Tofu quietly went through the traditional ceremony,
totally lost in their own little worlds - her's a fairy-tale dream
come true and his trying to keep his cookies down as the room tilted
back and forth.  Neither seemed to notice what was happening among the
gathered guests.  Especially Kasumi to whom the whole ceremony was
absolutely perfect in every way.  She noticed nothing but the priest
and her sweet Tofu.
     "Ami-Chan," Sodoshi called as she worked her way up and down the
rows chasing the small dog.  She tried running and she tried crawling,
neither seemed to help her get past all the annoying people that were
sitting between her and her Ami-chan.  The dog, however, had a slight
advantage; she could simply run directly under the seats of each of
the folding chairs.  This only caused guests to leap up off their
seats, frantically attempting to avoid getting any mud on their formal
finery, and further impeding Sodoshi's pursuit.
     Nabiki quickly figured out where the pair were headed, took a
short-cut and caught her daughter right in front of the dojo doors. 
Akane, completing the 'enveloping maneuver' by approaching from the
opposite direction, snagged the dog not far from there.  Together,
they carried their 'catches' from the dojo, each holding their charges
at arms length.  The priest shook his gohei especially hard at Sodoshi
and company, clearly indicating the four of them should depart the
premises, taking any 'evil' spirits with them.
     "Bath?" Akane asked as she held the dripping dog away from her
body.
     "Bath," Nabiki confirmed with a look of resignation.  She figured
that if they hurried, they would still be able to be on hand for the
'gifts to the guests' part of the wedding.
     In any case, Nabiki, Akane, and Sodoshi would spend the next hour
soaking in a hot furo while the freshly washed dog ran around the
bath.

     The wedding proceeded through the sake sipping portion.  Tofu
took only a tiny sip of the sake he passed on to Kasumi.  The Tendo's
in attendance nodded their approval.  He had shown how much he would
respect Kasumi and her position in the family.  In reality, that one
sip almost cost him his control, his stomach still rebelling at the
abuse it was forced to endure.
     When Kasumi went to reciprocate, she sipped a tiny bit of the
sake and passed it on to Tofu.  With a look of panic, Tofu gulped and
slowly raised the cup to his lips.  He'd go through with it, even if
it cost's him his dignity.  The priest, sensing Tofu's dilemma, gently
removed the cup from the groom's hands and quickly went on with the
ceremony.  No one was the wiser and Tofu was certainly grateful at
being able to avoid the embarrassment.  Besides, the priest couldn't
move as fast as he would like in his heavy robes.  Dodging the results
of a sick groom could require just that.
     The ceremony wrapped up in traditional style, Kasumi looking the
perfect bride and Tofu the lost husband.
     As the families began to mill about, Jeff worked his way up to
the priest.
     "Another fine job," Jeff said handing the priest a special
'donation' in an ornate envelope.
     "Well, that's two down and one to go," the priest answered as he
slid the envelope inside his robes.  "The last one will be a doozy."
     "Ah, you've heard about their first wedding."  Jeff nodded
knowingly.  Nabiki had told him all about the first attempt at a
wedding between Akane and Ranma.
     "Heard of it?"  The priest held his cup out for Jeff to fill.  "I
was hiding under a table throughout the whole thing."
     "Oh."
     "I can assure you that if it wasn't for my promise to their
mother to officiate at the weddings of all three, I'd demand combat
pay just to be in the same room with Akane Tendo."
     "Well, I'm sure the next try will be much better."
     "Oy, I should live so long.  I saw her reaction to her fiance
today."
     "She's just a little high strung, that's all."
     The priest leveled his best skeptical look Jeff's way.
     "Well, she's been talking to Nabiki and..."
     The priest added a raised eyebrow to go along with his skeptical
look.  Jeff got the picture.  Combining the personalities of the two
most 'reactive' Tendos into a single package could be dangerous to all
parties concerned.
     Thus the wedding of Tofu Ono and Kasumi Tendo concluded.  Jeff
saw to their dream Hawaiian honeymoon and Nabiki made sure her sister
had everything she would need for the trip - including Nabiki's
personal cel-phone number, just in case Kasumi had more... questions.

***** *****

     Nabiki sighed contentedly as she stretched on the couch, pulling
her nightshirt up far enough to expose her panties.  Jeff, ever aware
of what's going on around him, took advantage of the situation and
reached over to gently pat her little round bottom.
     "Fresh!" Nabiki snarled in mock indignation.  "You think just
because we're married you can take liberties with me."
     Jeff slowly turned his head, bobbed his eyebrows, and snarled
like a wild animal.  Nabiki protectively placed her hands on his face
and acted like a damsel in distress.
     "Oh help.  Help." she squeaked in a cartoon manner.
     "Come here little girl and do as you're told," Jeff slobbered
back like a drunken sailor.
     Nabiki countered with a raised pillow and a look of warning.
     "Just what kind of girl do you think I am?" she asked while
making a face at her husband.
     "Well, you're not your sister, that's for sure," Jeff chuckled.
     "That's not funny, Jeffrey."  Nabiki lowered the pillow and
scowled.
     "You thought so last week."
     The two stared at each other for a few seconds before both
snickered together.
     "It *was* pretty funny, wasn't it?" Nabiki laughed as she dropped
the pillow and collapsed into her husband's arms.
     "Shush, dear and watch the rest of the movie."
     Nabiki continued to chuckle as the details of Tofu and Kasumi's
honeymoon flashed through her mind.  Especially the phone call.

***** [Last week - The Lawrence residence, Hawaii] *****

     It was late at the Lawrence home.  Sodoshi was watching a nature
show on the TV while her parents were back in the bedroom.
     "Jeffrey, it doesn't fit like that," Nabiki gasped as she endured
her husband's sudden case of ineptitude.
     "Look, you're the one who wanted..."
     "I know, I know.  Let's just get this over with."  
     Nabiki looking all hot and flushed, the sweat glistening on her
beautiful skin, grunted and strained at the effort.  It just wasn't
working as easily as the book said.
     Finally, Jeff gave up.
     "I don't know, Nabs," Jeff moaned as he leaned back and stared at
his wife.  "If you would just hold still, I could get it in."
     "Oh sure, blame me," Nabiki grumped.  "I'm doing the best I can. 
Why don't you just hire someone to install this stupid closet
organizer."
     "Because I'm perfectly capable of installing it myself."
     Nabiki just rolled her eyes.
     <Men,> she thought. <They'll never admit when they can't do
something.>
     Just then the phone started to ring.
     "Mom!  Phone!" came Sodoshi's voice from the living room.
     As Nabiki let go of her end of the shelf, it started to come away
from the wall.
     "Nabs!" Jeff yelled as he threw himself against the metal
structure trying to keep it from falling completely.
     Nabiki hesitated only a second before lunging for the closest
end.  Together, they pushed the shelf back into place.
     [*Ring!*]
     "Mom! Phone!"
     Nabiki just looked at Jeff in frustration.  She couldn't let go
of the shelf or it would fall and she couldn't answer the phone
because of the shelf.
     [*Ring!*]
     "Mom! Phone!"
     "Sodoshi, will you answer it, please?" Nabiki yelled back.  "I'm
tied up right now."
     Back in the living room, Sodoshi crawled off of the sofa with a
sigh of resignation and padded into the kitchen.  Pushing a chair up
to the wall phone, she climbed up and picked up the receiver.
     "Hai!" she chirped.
     "Ah.... Hi.  This is Sergeant Ralph See of the Honolulu Police. 
Is this the Lawrence residence?"
     "Hai!"
     "Yeah.... Ah... Hi again.  Is your mother or father there?"
     "Mommy and Daddy in bedroom."
     "Oh,..."  Sgt. See blinked.  "Well could I speak to them anyway?"
     "No.  Daddy has Mommy tied up in bedroom."
     Sgt. See slowly lowered the phone and stared at it for a few
seconds.  Surely, the child didn't mean what she just said.
     "I...ah... really would like to talk to either your mother or
your father."  Ralph tried to retain his composure, knowing full well
all police phone calls were recorded.  He knew that no matter how hard
he tried, no one was going to believe this one.
     "No, Mommy and Daddy busy.  Bai bai."  Sodoshi hung up the phone,
climbed down off the chair and pushed it back to the kitchen table. 
Slapping her hands together like she was celebrating a job well done,
Sodoshi started for the living room and her TV show.
     {*Ring!*]
     "Sodoshi!" came her mother's voice from the bedroom.
     With a visible grump and roll of her eyes, Sodoshi turned back
around, got the chair again, and climbed up to answer the phone.
     "Hai!"  Her voice sounding distinctly irritated.
     "This is Sergeant Ralph See of the Honolulu Police again.  I
really must speak with your father or mother right away.  It's very
important."
     "Mommy say she tied up," Sodoshi insisted, her eyes narrowed into
angry slits.
     "Please, just go to the bedroom door and tell your parents that
the police are on the phone and need to talk to one of them.  Okay?"
     "Okay," Sodoshi replied... just before she hung up the phone
again.
     Climbing down from her chair, Sodoshi hurried into her parents
bedroom.
     "Who was it, dear?" Nabiki asked as she held the shelf in place
while Jeff put the last of the screws in.
     "Somebody who want to talk to you," Sodoshi said with a shrug of
her little shoulders.
     "Didn't you get a name?"
     "Nope."  Sodoshi climbed onto the bed to watch what her parents
were doing.  It looked more interesting than that boring old nature
show anyway.
     Nabiki's next question was interrupted by the phone ringing
again.  Sodoshi rolled her eyes and started to climb down off the bed. 
Nabiki never liked missing phone calls, that's why she got a cel-phone
in the first place.  Frantically, she looked at Jeffrey.
     "Go ahead," he said confidently.  "I've got it pretty well
secured to the wall."
     With a happy nod, Nabiki raced after her daughter in an effort to
beat her to the phone.
     Jeff stepped back to admire his work when the whole closet
organizer noisily collapsed into a heap.
     "I don't understand it," he mumbled as he flipped the screwdriver
over his shoulder.  "It looked so easy in the book."
     Nabiki beat her daughter to the phone.  Sodoshi protested her
mother doing 'her job' but quickly backed off when receiving one of
her mother's 'looks'.  As she pushed the kitchen chair back up to the
table, Sodoshi's pout of disappointment accompanied her mutterings of
how unfair her mother was being.
     Jeff entered the kitchen in time to catch one of the strangest
phone conversations he'd ever seen his wife engaged in.
     "Yes, this is Mrs. Lawrence," Nabiki said with a serious look. 
"Yes..... Yes.....  Yes......"  
     There was a long pause before Nabiki started to chuckle.  In
seconds her chuckle became a guffaw which grew into almost hysterical
laughter.
     Jeff paused with raised eyebrows as Nabiki's laughter-spasming
body slowly slid to the floor.
     "Good news, dear?" Jeff asked as he stood over his wife while she
rolled back and forth laughing so hard there were tears rolling down
her cheeks.
     "Jeff, you won't believe this," Nabiki struggled to get out as
she held the phone towards her husband.  
     With a strange look of curiosity, Jeff took the phone.
     "Hello?"
     "Mr. Lawrence?  This is Sergeant Ralph See of the Honolulu
Police."
     "*Sergeant* See?  When did that happen, Ralph?"
     "Last spring.  Fortunately, nobody remembered the little incident
two years ago on the way to the hospital."
     "Oh... yeah, sorry about that, Ralph."  Jeff was momentarily
distracted by Naibiki rolling over and grabbing his leg while she
continued to laugh.
     "The reason I'm calling, Mr. Lawrence, is that one of our patrols
picked up a young couple this evening who claim to know you."
     "A young couple?"  Jeff strongly suspected whom Ralph was
referring to but couldn't for the life of him bring himself to believe
it.
     "Do you know a... Tofu Ono?"
     Jeff rolled his eyes and groaned softly.
     "Did they get mugged or something?"
     "Well... no.  They were picked up this evening out at Wahine
Park."
     "Oh yeah.  Very romantic.  Nice place for an evening stroll in
the moonlight."
     "They weren't exactly strolling, Mr. Lawrence.  The officers who
found them said they were swimming in the lagoon under the waterfall."
     "Well..., that's not so bad, Ralph.  I mean, what have we got?
Being out of bounds in a park?"
     "Mr. Lawrence, we caught them skinny dipping."
     Jeff paused for a few seconds trying to fit what Sgt. See had
said into the Tofu and Kasumi he knew.  It refused to fit.  The
expression on his face caused Nabiki to explode in laughter again.
     "Skinny... dipping."  Jeff gulped.  "As in..."
     "According to the officers, they were..." Sgt. See paused to read
from the report.  "Frolicking in the water of a public park in an
unclothed state."
     "Swimming.... nude?"  Jeff's eyes bugged out as he asked the
question.  This only caused Nabiki to intensify her laughter again.
     "Ordinarily, because they're tourists, we'd just warn them and
send them on their way.  But the lady made such a big deal about being
related to you and all that we figured we better give you a call."
     "I appreciate that, Ralph."
     "If you would, could you please come down to the station and pick
them up.  I'd sure feel better about releasing them if they were in
your custody."
     Jeff assured Sgt. See that they would be down to get the Onos in
a little while *and* that they would try to explain some things to
them.  Of course, first Jeff would have to peel his wife off the
floor.
     The ride to the police station was quiet, except for Nabiki's
continued giggling.  After all Kasumi had done to convince everyone
she was practically prudish, Nabiki couldn't believe what the police
claim her sister did.  It just wasn't Kasumi.  Nabiki grinned
mischievously.  She couldn't wait till they got to the station.
     Sgt. See was waiting for them when they arrived.
     "Thanks for coming down, Mr. Lawrence," he said as they shook
hands.
     "You don't have my sister locked up, do you?"  Nabiki suddenly
got serious at the thought of her Oneechan behind bars with some of
the low-life she'd seen on TV.  Fun's fun but subjecting her sister to
that kind of indignity was quite beyond the amusing.  
     Sodoshi clung to her mother's hand and scanned the activity of
the police station.  Her little scowl clearly conveyed her dislike for
the place.
     "No Mrs. Lawrence," Ralph sighed.  "They're down in the lounge
area enjoying a cup of police coffee."
     "That's 'Tendo-Lawrence'," Nabiki corrected with narrowed eyes.
     Ralph nodded through his mistake before ordering one of his
officers to fetch the wayward couple.
     For several uncomfortable minutes, Jeff and Ralph tried small
talk while Nabiki continued to deliver her most devastating 'look of
warning' to the nervous police Sergeant.  Ralph got the distinct
impression that if anything was amiss with her sister, he would
suffer, unlike last time, more than a simple bump on the head.
     Fortunately, Kasumi and Tofu soon arrived from the lounge,
although both looked miserable.  Nabiki shifted her attention from
Sgt. See to her sister.  She couldn't help but notice that Kasumi
refused to raise her eyes from the floor.
     "Are you alright?" Nabiki asked seriously in Japanese.
     "Hai."  Kasumi's response was barely above a whisper.  This
evening's activities had been all too humiliating for the Onos.
     Jeff signed for his relatives and the Onos had to endure a short
lecture from one of the Japanese speaking officers.  Sgt. See also
gave them a pamphlet designed for Japanese tourists that outlined
proper behavior while in Hawaii.  All things considered, it was little
more than what Tofu and Kasumi could have expected from a Japanese
police detention.
     The ride home was when Nabiki chose to deal with her sister.
     "Honestly, Oneechan, trespassing in a public park of all things." 
Nabiki was going easy on her sister to start.  She'd *really* let her
have it later, when she was certain how serious her sister was taking
all this.  "Boy, just wait until I get *you* home."
     Kasumi hung her head lower, feeling totally miserable.  Married
for less than a month and already with a police record.  She wanted to
cry when she thought of what her father would say.
     Sodoshi, sensing her aunt's sadness, twisted slightly in her car
seat to rummage around in her bib-overalls.  With a satisfied look,
she produced a cherished leftover from her Halloween candy, something
she had been saving for a special occasion; a little sucker.  Holding
it hopefully in front of her aunt, Sodoshi tried to cheer her up the
only way she knew how, with candy.
     Kasumi stared at the little piece of candy as her eyes began to
tear again.  With a welcome, sad smile, Kasumi hugged her little niece
as best the car seat would allow.  Sodoshi's little arms eagerly
wrapped themselves around her aunt's neck.  She really loved her Aunt
Kasumi.  Seeing her sad was the worst thing Sodoshi could think of.
     "Arigato, So-chan," Kasumi whispered.  Sodoshi completed the
transaction by giving her a sloppy kiss on the cheek.
     Nabiki caught Sodoshi's gesture and smiled quietly to herself. 
There would be time for her to make her points later.  Right now,
Sodoshi was giving her aunt the one thing she needed most;
forgiveness.  Nabiki adjusted the visor mirror, like she was checking
her makeup, and watched as Kasumi and Sodoshi shared that tiny piece
of candy, each taking turns to lick and giggle like children.
     <Kawaii,> Nabiki thought.

     Once home, Nabiki put Sodoshi down for the night before joining
her sister in the living room while Jeff took Tofu on a brief tour of
the house, ending up in the kitchen.
     Nabiki sat her sister down on the sofa and got her something cool
to drink.  Joining her on the couch, Nabiki sat back and coldly eyed
her sister like a mother sizing up a child for punishment.
     "Honestly, Oneechan," she started, her arms crossed and a firm
look on her face.  "All those years of being a 'mother' to Akane and
me obviously taught you nothing.  What ever possessed you to do such a
thing?"
     "It was Tofu's idea," Kasumi offered softly.  "He said one of his
patients told him it was like an onsen only with waterfalls."
     "Didn't it occur to you when you showed up and no one was around
that something was wrong?"
     "Not really.  America is such a big place.  We just thought we
had lucked into an open pool."
     "Oneechan," Nabiki covered her face, more to prevent Kasumi from
seeing her smile than out of exasperation.  "Americans don't bathe in
public without proper attire, they don't have *those* kinds of onsens,
and you're just lucky the police officer knew Jeff."
     "I know," Kasumi said in a tiny voice while she hunched her
shoulders and grimaced at the floor.  This was the worst 'talking to'
she had received since she was a little girl.  Coming from Nabiki made
it hurt even more.
     "And another thing, what do you think would happen if someone
stole your clothes or worse yet mugged you?"  Nabiki leveled her most
serious look her sister's way.  "America is *not* Japan, Kasumi.  You
have to be more careful."
     Kasumi nodded obediently and braced for her sister's final
admonition.
     "What you did was: irresponsible, shameful, and totally
unacceptable.  I have only one thing more to say."  Nabiki's eyes
twinkled with mischief as she leaned closer to her sister.  "How was
it?"
     Slightly startled, Kasumi looked at her sister's smiling face
before glancing at the floor again.  As a grin slowly spread across
Kasumi's face, the pair started snickering.
     "It was... *amazing*."  The girls paused before collapsing
together, giggling.  For the next half hour, the sisters compared
notes and giggled like school-girls as each tried to top the other
with stories of their 'adventures'.

     In the kitchen, Jeffrey was getting the other side of the story.
     "I know it's late," Jeff said while rummaging around in the
refrigerator.  "But I figure you could use one."  Jeff held up a
bottle of Australian beer.
     Tofu, standing in the middle of the kitchen, his back to the
living room, nodded self-consciously as he cast nervous looks over his
shoulder towards his wife.  To Jeff, Tofu was acting far more nervous
than a newlywed should.  Something was distinctly wrong.  Jeff
pondered the possibilities while handing Tofu his beer along with an
empty glass.
     "I'm curious," Jeff started to pour his beer into a glass.  "Just
what possessed you to try skinny-dipping in a public park?"
     Tofu cast another nervous look over his shoulder and swallowed
hard.
     "Jeffrey, you've got to help me," Tofu hissed, his face a scene
of growing panic.
     "What... are you talking about?"
     Tofu looked quickly at Kasumi again then leaned in closer.
     "It's Kasumi," he hissed again, his voice dropping to almost a
whisper.  
     "Oh, well, I kinda suspected this from the start."
     "You did?"
     "She comes from a very sheltered and proper environment.  Give
her time.  If you're patient and loving, she'll come around.  There'll
be plenty of time for sex later."
     Tofu stared at Jeff like he was crazy.  With another nervous look
over his shoulder, he came clean.
     "That's not the problem."
     "Okay, then what is?"
     "She's.... insatiable!"
     Jeff froze while pouring his beer and stared at Tofu like he
didn't fully understand what the doctor just said.  The overflowing
beer glass quickly brought Jeff back to reality.
     "Kasumi?"  Jeff looked at Tofu in shock, his mouth open, his
scowl of disbelief prominent.
     "Jeffrey, tonight is the first time we've been out of our room it
*two days*."  Tofu cast another nervous look over his shoulder towards
his wife.  "You have no idea what it's like.  Every morning, every
afternoon, every night, Jeffrey I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE.  I need my
sleep."
     Jeff slowly leaned over to look around Tofu at Kasumi.  He tilted
his head slightly as he stared at the demure, proper, chaste-looking
young lady seated on his sofa.  Shaking his head in disbelief, Jeff
pointed to the living room.
     "That Kasumi?"
     Tofu nodded nervously.  Jeff again leaned over to look at the
proper looking young lady in his living room.  She didn't *look* like
a nymphomaniac.
     "What did your wife say to her?" Tofu hissed angrily.
     "What... where.... when?"
     "Kasumi was fine before she talked to Nabiki before the wedding,"
Tofu moaned.   
     "Ah..."  Jeff was finally getting the picture.  This was all
Nabiki's doing.  Nabiki had told Jeff about the little talk she had
with her sisters up in her old room the day of the wedding.  Still,
Jeff found it hard to believe that Nabiki just talking to her sister
could cause all this trouble.
     "I can't keep up with her."
     "I see..."
     "She's going to kill me on the honeymoon."
     "Oh, surely not..."
     "And when we get home, not even the clinic will be safe."
     "For what?..."
     "I can't live like this, Jeffrey!"  Tofu grabbed the front of
Jeff's shirt.
     "Couldn't you just enjoy it while it lasts?"  Jeffrey carefully
pried the doctors hands from his shirt.  "Maybe she really, really
wants to get pregnant.  You should have seen the look on her face when
Nabiki had the first baby in the family."
     Tofu paused to consider what Jeff just said.  Perhaps it *was*
due to Kasumi's need to have a baby as quickly as possible.
     "Besides, doesn't every husband want a perfect 'mommy' outside
the bedroom and a perfect 'whore' inside?"  Jeff took a drink of his
beer while slyly looking at Tofu.  "Sounds to me like you have a
problem most other men would gladly trade you for."
     "Jeffrey, she wants to do it *everywhere*."  Tofu's voice almost
became loud enough to attract the attention of the ladies in the
living room.
     Jeff paused to consider his brother-in-law's last pronouncement.
That *could' explain the skinny-dipping incident.  Jeff felt compelled
to explore the issue further.
     "So who's idea was it to swim in Wahine Park?"
     "Well.... mine."  Tofu looked sheepishly at the floor at having
to admit the whole escapade was his responsibility.
     "You sly rascal, you."  Jeff leaned over to look Tofu in the
eyes.  "And all the time I thought it was Kasumi's doing."
     "No, it's not like that.... really."  Tofu looked miserable
trying to explain the, obviously, complicated situation to his
brother-in-law.  "One of my patients, a frequent traveler to your
country, insisted there were places in America where... such things
are possible.  He insisted that here in Hawaii was one such place
where honeymooning couples could... you know, in a native setting...
in a lagoon... under a waterfall... like in the movies."
     Jeff leaned back against the counter and took another drink of
his beer.  This was getting weird.  Not even Nabiki would think of
something like this.  What Tofu was describing was the cross between a
'nude beach' and a love hotel.
     "I mentioned it to Kasumi..." Tofu paused to shake his head. 
"Only as a way of getting out of that hotel room."
     Jeff leaned over once more to look at the pleasantly smiling
Kasumi.  No matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't imagine Kasumi
in such a situation.
     "It was supposed to be romantic."  Tofu gobbled down more of his
beer.  "Instead, it was frightening.  I mean, it was dark, there was
absolutely no one else around, and the water was cold."
     "And that's when you got caught."
     "Well, no.  First, Kasumi stuck a flower behind her ear, took her
clothes off in the parking lot, and yelled something about 'being
free' before she jumped naked into the water."  Tofu looked even more
miserable than before.
     Jeff took another drink to hide his grin while thinking about his
sister-in-law, stark naked, doing exactly the things Tofu was
describing.
     "Well... nothing lasts forever.  I'm sure she'll calm down once
you get back home."
     "But what if she doesn't?"
     "I'll have Nabiki talk to her again."
     Tofu's eyebrows bobbed up from behind his glasses.  Obviously,
Jeff's suggestion was less than he hoped for.
     "Okay," Jeff added.  "I'll have Nabiki tell her to calm down."
     "Thank you."  Tofu actually sounded relieved.  To him, Nabiki was
the cause of all this.  If she would simply explain herself better,
everything would get back to normal.
     "You want to spend the night here?  Perhaps she won't try
anything with Sodoshi in the house."  Jeff almost choked on the
suggestion.  Obviously, subjecting Tofu to another night of
unrestrained sex with Kasumi was a kind of 'torture' Jeff almost found
amusing.
     Tofu gratefully thanked Jeff again but looked skeptical at the
prospect of Kasumi 'behaving' herself, even in the house of relatives. 
Still, it *might* give him a chance to get a good night's sleep.
     With some reservations, Jeff talked with Nabiki and the newlyweds
were given the guest room at the end of the hall.  Nabiki bid her
sister goodnight with a stern warning.
     "Now Oneechan, I want you to behave yourself in my home as I
would in yours."
     Kasumi shyly bowed her agreement before following, in an almost
traditional way, her husband down to their room for the night.
     As Nabiki turned for her own room, Jeff gently cupped her
buttocks and tried to pull her to him.
     "Jeffrey," Nabiki warned with one of her 'looks'.  "Let's not
give them any ideas."
     "Pooh."  Jeff crossed his arms and pouted.  "Tofu gets all the
fun."
     "There's plenty of time for that after they leave," Nabiki cooed
as she pinched his cheek playfully.  "Now, let's go to bed and get
some sleep."
     Once in bed, Jeff figured the excitement was over for the
evening.  That's when it started.
     At first it was just a giggle coming from down the hall.  Then, a
gasp loud enough for even Nabiki to hear.  Nabiki rolled over and
supported her head on her hand while she looked at her husband and
slowly shook her head.
     "That man needs a cold shower."
     "What do you mean Tofu?  I heard it was Kasumi," Jeff protested.
     Nabiki's next statement was cut off by the sound of a female
groan from out in the hallway that conveyed such pleasure it made both
Jeff and Nabiki uncomfortable just hearing it.  Soft footsteps
confirmed the hallway couple's destination.
     "They're headed for... the bath," Nabiki hissed.
     "The furo," Jeff whispered back.
     "They better not..."
     "It looks like your sister is still on hormone overload...."
     "Hey!  It's not my fault."
     "You're the one who told her about the birds and the bees.  What,
the hell, did you say to her?"
     "Honest, only the basics."
     "For... what?  A porno movie?"
     "I just didn't want her to have as lousy a honeymoon as I did."
     Jeff's stunned look caused Nabiki to amend her statement.
     "I was referring to Sodoshi Tanaka.  Remember?  She was stalking
me everywhere we went.  I *couldn't* enjoy the honeymoon because of
that."  She reached out and gently stroked her husband's cheek. 
"Besides, I *did* make it up to you."
     Nabiki's sly grin was interrupted by a slash coming from down in
the bath.
     "Ka-soo-mee!" Nabiki hissed like an angry snake.
     "Sounds like they're picking up where they left off at the park."
     "Oh, pooh, now I'll have to clean the furo in the morning."
     They listened a few minutes more to the giggles and sounds of
obvious love-making coming from the family bath.
     <Is it me or is it getting hot in here?> Jeff nervously queried
himself as he slowly slid the covers off his legs.
     <Honestly, Oneechan,> Nabiki thought as she glared the direction
of the bath and slowly undid the top of her gown. <In *my* furo, of
all places.>

***** *****

     The memory of the sounds of that night had their usual effect on
Nabiki.  Slowly, she turned her head away from the movie credits
scrolling across the screen of the TV and gently began to nuzzle
Jeff's chest.  She loved the feel of his chest.  It was one of the
reasons she fell so hard for him in the first place.  So broad and
firm, she loved the feel of the muscles as they moved.  She especially
loved the lack of hair.  Like most Japanese women, she found lots of
chest hair distasteful.
     Nabiki kissed her way across his chest and up under his chin,
relishing the feel of their bodies pressed together.  He reacted in
the usual manner, his strong hands gently supporting his wife as she
amorously trekked her way up his body.  By the time she reached his
face, she had worked herself into her usual sexual frenzy where only
one thing could satisfy her.  Jeff was about to provide that 'relief'
when a tiny noise from the hallway caused them to freeze in place.
     Jeff and Nabiki stared into each other's eyes for several seconds
before slowly turning their heads, Nabiki having to lean over
slightly, to see what caused the noise.
     Standing in the hallway was Sodoshi, wearing her little 'Sailor
Moon - Hotaru' nightshirt, carrying her stuffed 'Mr. Kitty', and
rubbing her eyes.
     "What's the matter, sweetheart?" Nabiki gently asked, her face
slowly dissolving into a motherly smile.  Jeff had to admit, she was
doing pretty well at controlling her voice, in spite of her still
obvious sexual flush.
     "Thirsty," Sodoshi lightly whined as she continued to rub her
eyes between squinting attempts to see in, what seemed like to her,
the brightly lit room.
     "I'll get it," Nabiki offered after a final kiss on her husband's
cheek.  Climbing off of the couch and stretching her long, beautiful
legs in a cat-like manner, Nabiki padded bare foot into the kitchen to
fetch Sodoshi's water.
     Sodoshi wasted no time in scrambling on the warm couch and taking
her mother's place next to her father.  Jeff had already put the movie
into rewind and changed to a nature channel that was showing a mother
bear and her cubs.  Sodoshi hugged Mr. Kitty and snuggled comfortably
against her daddy to watched the show.  Late night TV was her favorite
'treat'.
     When Nabiki returned from the kitchen, she found her place on the
sofa taken by her daughter.  Handing the tiny glass to Sodoshi with an
exaggerated smile that covered her obvious irritation at being
displaced, Nabiki retired to a chair off the end of the sofa where she
crossed her legs and supported her chin in the palm of her hand,
staring at her daughter.  She didn't look happy.
     Sodoshi sensed this and readjusted her position so there was room
on the sofa.
     "Mommy sit here," Sodoshi insisted while pointing to the spot
right next to her.
     A slow smile spread across Nabiki's face as she looked at her
tiny daughter.  The smile dissolved into her typical sardonic grin as
she stood, smoothed her nightshirt like a short skirt and slowly
walked like a model over to the sofa.  Sodoshi giggled behind Mr.
Kitty.
     "Thank you, Miss Sodoshi," Nabiki said with a slight bow. 
Sodoshi giggled again.  Sodoshi liked when her mother did these little
silly things.  She wished her mother would do them more often.
     Sitting demurely next to her daughter, Nabiki flashed her 'vacant
Kasumi' look Sodoshi's way.  Sodoshi, however, only scowled her
answer.
     "No Mommy.  Like before.  Legs up *here*."  Sodoshi patted the
surface of the sofa.
     Nabiki grinned at her husband who just shrugged his shoulders and
smiled back.  With her tongue peeking out from between her lips to
show her effort, Nabiki carefully repositioned herself so she was
seated the way Sodoshi wanted; her legs tucked under her, her body
leaning towards her husband.  Jeff extended his arm and gently
gathered his wife who leaned over further so that she could rest her
head on his shoulder.  Almost absently, Nabiki's free hand found her
daughter's head.  She lovingly stroked her daughter's hair who was now
seated comfortably between her parents.  Sodoshi sighed happily.  She
liked sitting like this.
     "I love you, Nabs," Jeff murmured as he bent his head to kiss his
wife.
     "And I love you, Jeffrey."  Nabiki met her husband half-way,
their lips gently caressing directly over Sodoshi's head.  Jeff's hand
lightly stroked his wife's hair and shoulders as he deepened the kiss. 
Their romantic evening might have been aborted but he was determined
to make sure Nabiki knew he loved her unconditionally.
     Sodoshi, watched all this by looking directly up for a few
moments.  She liked to see her parents holding and kissing
each other.  It gave her a warm and cozy feeling.  With another sigh,
Sodoshi smiled contentedly, snuggled against her mother's warm body,
and fell to asleep.