Part 1:
Somewhat Serious

Chapter 2:
I Left my Heart in Jusenkyo

     Ryouga wandered aimlessly in some town, as usual, his thoughts also wandering aimlessly, also as usual. He started thinking about what he had last eaten, a tasty sandwich with several exotic ingredients. It was too bad Akane had so much trouble with cooking, but Ranma still shouldn't always be so inconsiderate and mean after she had tries so hard. Ranma! What a fool! What does Akane see in him anyway? Ryouga growled.
    "I wish I could destroy Ranma's hold over her. She deserves so much better than that bumbling fool!" Like a reflex, Ryouga reached for his heart pendant, but stopped, just as usual, as he realized that of course it wasn't there.
    He had, as per the title, left his heart in Jusenkyo. Yet another thing to blame the vile Saotome for! He had been given the heart by a girl whose life he had saved, and it had kept him from getting lost so frequently. Until he lost it after falling into that cursed Jusenkyo pond! Ryouga gritted his teeth and clenched his fists. That wretch! How could Ranma ever understand his pain? Throwing back his head, he let out a feral roar.     "SAOTOME!"
***
    Ukyo breathed in deeply.
    "Ok, girl, calm down." Then she looked up again.
    "Aiee!" She stopped and caught her breath. Where Duro had stood, there was now what looked like a huge hairy man covered in ice. She picked up the now cracked bottle and looked at it again.
    "Jusinko, Jusinko. Where have I heard that name before?" She snapped her fingers. "Of course! Not Jusinko, Jusenkyo! That means that this water must be from there! Oh, poor Duro. He has no idea what he's in for." She shook herself. "Well, in that case, hot water will turn him back!" She ran over to the kitchen and grabbed the teapot. Leaping over a table, she checked to make sure the water was boiling, and tossed it at the icycled man.
    Nothing happened.
    A chill ran down Ukyo's spine. "Ok, I gotta get help. Ranma will know what to do!" She checked her clothes, grabbed the bottle, and ran off.
***
    Shampoo raced down the road, humming a merry tune. "Ranma airen, airen Ranma, Wo de airen, Ranma, Ranma, ya ya ya ya ya ya OOF!" Shampoo fell into someone's arms knocking them both to the floor.
    "Why could this be my fair Akane or the pig-tailed girl rushing to embrace me, the Blue Thunder? Oh happy day?" Shampoo pushed Kuno forcefully, getting to her feet.     The kendoist's expression instantly became one of disgust. "Oh I see, it is you, that vile Chinese gaijin. You are not worth the Blue Thunder's time." Kuno turned his back with a sneer to a smoldering Shampoo.
((Intellectual Jeremy: Say here's a thought? Is her name really Shampoo? Or is it Xian Pu? This merits analysis.
Jeremy: No it doesn't. Let me get back to the story.
Macho Jeremy: Hey guys, what's up?
Jeremy: Not now.
Intelligent Jeremy: We are about to embark on an exciting intellectual exploration of analysis of Shampoo's real name.
Macho Jeremy: (flexing) Cool, dudes.
Jeremy: (flustered) No we're not.
Intellectual Jeremy: Oh how plebian.
Jeremy: Shut up you troglodyte!
Intellectual Jeremy: Uno momento, por favor senor. I am no troglodyte! I don't believe you even know what that means!
Jeremy: Of course I do, it means...
Stupid Jeremy: Duh...Troglodit? Isn't that a monster or something?
Intellectual Jeremy: Not exactly. Although it is the name of a monster who dwells in caves, it also means one who lives primitively, which I certain do not do!
Stupid Jeremy: Primi-what?
Intellectual Jeremy: (sighing) Never mind.
Jeremy: ANYWAY, let's get back to what we were doing, ok?
Intellectual Jeremy: Right, which is the subject of Shampoo's name. Now, Zhan means to stand, and Xian means salty. Pu is not a word. My point? Only that Xian Pu is no more "Chinese" than "Shan Pu" because Chinese people don't always name their kids after words. In fact, just like in English, the names often mean nothing. Like the name oh I don't know, Jeremy, for example. pure gibberish.
Jeremy: Wait a minute. That name does mean something. It comes from Jeremiah, the prophet.
IJ: Which means?
Jeremy: Uh... Ok, so I don't know. That doesn't mean it's gibberish.
IJ: (smiling) Well, my work is done here. Konichiwa!
Macho Jeremy: Later, dude.
Stupid Jeremy: (scratching head) Hold on a sec, I don't get it. What's my name mean?
Jeremy: ::sigh:: Never mind. Well, now that he's gone, let's get back to that brilliant repartee between Kuno and Shampoo.
))
    Kuno snorted. "What a sniveling countenence! You peasants are nothing compared with the might of Tatewaki Kuno.
    Shampoo boiled. "Aiya! You foolish, Stupid Boy! Shampoo Kill YOU!!" She slipped into Mandarin, so angry. "Houji!! Bendan!!" Kuno yawned. Shampoo jumped him.
***
    Ranma was practicing when he received the call.
    "Lunch is ready!" Ranma sped into the house, knocking down Soun as he went.
HOLD ON!! I'm NOT done with this Chapter yet, so STOP RIGHT THERE.
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