Ranma ½ -- A Deadly Choice

Chapter 14: The Truth is Out! Akane’s New Boyfriend is...

"So," said Ranma once they were alone, "what did you want to talk about?"

"No matter what you may think of me," began Ryoga, "Akane’s life is in danger. That’s the most important thing right now. So I want to come clean right now, so that we can put our differences aside and work together to keep her alive and away from that demon."

"This really isn’t like you, Ryoga," said Ranma. "What brought about the sudden change?"

"I’ve come to realize that there are other ways besides violence to achieve my goals," replied Ryoga. "I’ve been reading the most incredible book, ‘How to be More Assertive’ by Benjamin Egrul. It’s really changed the way I think."

Ranma snapped his fingers. "I knew that name sounded familiar! You quoted that book the night Ukkyo was kidnapped!"

"That’s right. Egrul’s words changed me. I’ve been much bolder in my pursuit of Akane recently, for one thing. But I’ve also become more easily able to express myself. So I want to say... that I’m sorry."

"You what?" Ranma grabbed the sides of Ryoga’s head and pulled. "Is your head on straight?"

"I don’t like the man I’ve become, Ranma. I’ve done things that I’m not proud of."

"You sure you’re feeling okay, Ryoga? I mean, Akane hates me right now, I’m no good to her anyway now that I can’t become a man any more, and she’s totally in love with you. Why would you want to come clean now, just when everything’s going your way?"

"That’s just it, Ranma," said Ryoga. "Everything’s not going my way. You don’t know the whole story."

"What whole story? I saw you making out on Akane’s bed the other night!"

"That was the result of a massage technique that Happosai taught me. I should have suspected that its result would be lecherous, but my intelligence hasn’t grown along with my assertiveness, I’m afraid. She had no feelings for me except for –"

"Yeah, yeah, I get it. So if she didn’t like it, why did she want to do it again the next night?" Ryoga looked clueless. "Oh, come on! I heard you guys in front of Doctor Tofu’s! You asked her to dinner, and then she asked if you wanted to do what you did the night before again!"

"Oh, that... We asked Mousse to guard you during the night in case Cologne tried to manipulate you in your sleep. That’s what we were talking about. And as for the dinner, it was the stakes of a friendly match between us." He bowed his head in shame. "I admit, a romantic dinner with Akane was the intention of that challenge, but I only wanted to show her my feelings, not expecting any reciprocation."

"Sounds like quite a brilliant idea, for someone who didn’t have the intelligence to recognize one of the old pervert’s tactics for what it really was."

"Kuno gave me the idea," said Ryoga. "It was quite an advantageous trade. I told him that your girl side was afraid of hot water. Unfortunately, something went wrong with the date that I still don’t understand. Whatever it was, she may not hate me, but she’ll never love me."

"So, if there’s nothing between you, why did you tell her that you were P-chan?"

"I didn’t!" protested Ryoga. "I tried to, but I panicked and instead told her that I bought P-chan when I was in China and gave him to her as a present. That’s why she said she thought what I did was sweet – she was talking about a present, not me sleeping with her. She still doesn’t know about that."

Ranma considered this. "Well, I guess that explains everything except for one thing."

"What’s that?"

"Why the heck should I believe a word you say?"

"Because you care about Akane, and don’t want to believe that she could possibly be in love with me."

"What do I care about an uncute –" Ranma stopped and looked over his shoulder. "Oh yeah, she left with Miss Hinako."

"Whatever you may say, I know how you really feel, Ranma," said Ryoga. "I don’t like it, but I realize that it’s something I’ll have to learn to live with. In the meantime, your main concern should be Akane."

"You’re right," admitted Ranma. "I guess I have been a little quick to judge without getting all the facts. So, you want to help with the plan? Let’s go tell the girls." They stepped into the other room, where Miss Hinako was waiting for them.

"Did you have a nice talk, gentlemen?" she asked.

"I hope so," said Ryoga. "I think Ranma and I have come to some understanding. I’m going to help protect Akane."

"Great! We can use all the help we can get."

"Speaking of Akane, where is the bait for the trap?" asked Ranma.

"She went to see someone she said was an expert on demons."

"That would have to be Gosunkugi," said Ranma.

"She went to see Gosunkugi, ALONE?" shouted Ryoga.

"What’s wrong with that?" asked Ranma. "The demon’s not due to show up for hours yet."

"That guy’s insane! He’s got a voodoo doll of Akane! Don’t you know what that means?"

"That was a voodoo doll?" Ranma pictured the doll in his mind. "So what does it mean?"

"You idiot!" shouted Ryoga. "Think about it! Hikaru Gosunkugi, alone with Akane, with a voodoo doll that he can use to do whatever he wants to her!"

"What a lucky guy," said Ranma, swooning.

"He must not have recovered from when I drained him a while ago," said Miss Hinako. "He’s weak from loss of life energy to the point of occasional lapses of intelligence."

"Then it’s up to me!" Ryoga clenched a fist. "I’ll go rescue Akane!" He charged through the wall and into the street.

"Hey! That’s destruction of property! I’ll get you for this, you delinquent!" Miss Hinako shouted through the Ryoga-shaped hole.

"Wait for me!" shouted Ranma, heading down the street just far enough to scoop the black pig out of a large puddle before heading in the proper direction toward Gosunkugi’s house.

*************************************************

Akane knocked lightly on the door. "Hikaru, are you there?"

Hikaru opened the door. "Come right in."

Akane examined Hikaru’s well-pressed suit. "My, you’re awfully well-dressed today."

"I have a feeling that today will be a very special day," replied Hikaru, reaching up for something above the door. "Say, won’t you come to the kitchen with me?"

"Actually, I was hoping we could go to your study. I need some advice about the demon."

"Certainly," said Hikaru, slipping the pin into the heart of the Akane doll. "But first, I thought you might like some refreshment. I baked you some cookies..."

*************************************************

"Please, master, no more!" shouted Soun.

"Haven’t we trained enough?" asked Genma.

"No! More training! More preparation!" His eye caught a scrap of pink in a window. He pointed, and Soun leapt up to grab the brassiere. "More panties!" Suddenly, Happosai stopped, millimeters short of the flowing black cloud. "The demon!"

"Girls kidnapping demon being not I," said the demon. "Of Amazon tribe, Razor being I."

"Why are you talking like that?" asked Happosai.

"Curse," replied Razor. "With cold water me splashing you; then the truth seeing you."

"Genma, go fetch some cold water," commanded Happosai. He turned back to the demon in front of him. "So, Razor," he said, with particular doubt-filled emphasis on the name, "what exactly are you doing in Tokyo at this time of year?"

"On girls kidnapping demon spying I. Girls missing finding hoping I."

"This won’t work at all, master," said Soun. "I can’t understand a word it’s saying."

Genma tapped Happosai on the shoulder. "I see the effort to get the water wasn’t successful."

"I GOT THE WATER..." replied Genma. Turning the sign around, he continued, "THEN IT GOT ME." He held up another sign. "OOPS..."

"It’s hopeless trying to train you," said Happosai, grabbing the bucket from Genma’s paw and splashing what little of the water was left onto Razor. "So, you really are from the Amazon tribe."

"That saying did I," said Razor.

"Sorry, but we don’t have time to chat," said Happosai, pushing his way past Razor. "We’ve got to train for when the real demon comes to kidnap Akane."

"To face Ultimate Darkness Martial Arts, training needing how much you?"

Happosai froze in terror. "Did you say... Ultimate Darkness?"

"What’s wrong, master?" asked Soun.

"WHAT’S WRONG?" echoed Genma.

"Come on, boys," said Happosai, deflated. "We’re going home."

"But what about the training? And the demon?"

"There’s nothing we can do," said Happosai. "That demon is unbeatable."

"The master really seems to be scared of this Ultimate Darkness Martial Arts style," whispered Soun. Genma nodded.

"You would be, too," shouted Happosai, "if you knew the slightest thing about it! The Ultimate Darkness Martial Arts style has been the bane of my existence ever since it was created!"

"Is it really that bad?" asked Soun.

"No," replied Happosai ominously. "It’s worse."

*************************************************

Ranma threw open the door and stormed into Gosunkugi’s house. "Akane, are you in here?"

"Go away, Ranma!" shouted Akane from the kitchen.

Ranma ran to the kitchen to find Akane and Hikaru sharing a tender kiss. "Akane, what do you think you’re doing?"

"I told you to get lost," said Akane. "Darling Hikaru and I would like some privacy."

"What have you done to her, Gosunkugi?" asked Ranma, grabbing Hikaru by the collar.

Hikaru stared at Ranma through narrowed eyes. "What happened to you?"

"Forget about me! What have you done to Akane?" Ranma shook Hikaru hard.

Akane kicked Ranma in the head. "Don’t you dare hurt my dear Hikaru!" she shouted.

"Hey, cut that out!" Ranma shouted back. "I came here to get you away from him!"

"Don’t worry, my love," said Akane, wrapping her arms around Hikaru. "I won’t let him come between us." Ryoga oinked his indignation.

Ranma picked up the doll from the table. "This is the problem! I’ll put an end to this!" He pulled on the pin, but it refused to move. "What did you do, superglue it in?"

"You won’t be able to remove that pin, Ranma," said Hikaru.

"Then I’ll destroy the doll!" threatened Ranma, grabbing the doll in both hands. Akane groaned.

"No!" shouted Hikaru, snatching the doll away. "Destroy the doll, and you’ll destroy Akane!"

"Oh, Hikaru," sighed Akane, "you’re so forceful."

"Remove this pin or else!" demanded Ranma.

"No need to get violent," said Hikaru quickly. He opened a jar on the counter and rubbed its contents onto the head of the pin. The waxed pin slid easily out of the doll.

Akane blinked her eyes rapidly. "My goodness," she said. "I think my heart just leapt into my throat! I feel so lightheaded..."

"That’s nothing new," said Ranma flatly.

Akane stared at Ranma. "Ranma... thank you. Maybe you do occasionally do something right."

"No problem, Akane. I was just doing what I knew was..."

Akane grabbed the pig from Ranma’s arms. "You brought P-chan!" She turned to Hikaru. "Look, darling! Ranma brought P-chan to us! Now I have everything I need to be truly happy here with you!"

"You what?" shouted Ranma.

"You heard her," said Hikaru. "She loves me now."

"You’ve done what you came here to do, Ranma," said Akane. "Now leave so I can be alone with my one true love." She ran her fingers across Hikaru’s chest.

Ranma stared at the pin, then at the doll, then at the pin again. "What’s wrong with it? She’s supposed to go back to normal when you pull out the pin!"

"I’m perfectly normal," Akane assured him. "I’ve just come to realize that dear Hikaru is the one I truly love. Isn’t that right, Hikaru dear?"

"Yes, that’s right," said Hikaru, pushing his glasses up his nose.

"I suppose that means you don’t want my help with the demon then," said Ranma.

"Of course not," said Akane. "My Hikaru will take care of me."

"Then I’ll go tell Miss Hinako that we don’t need her help." Ranma left the kitchen. "Good luck keeping the demon away, DEAR Hikaru!"

"Miss Hinako?" Hikaru pushed Akane away and ran after Ranma. "You didn’t get HER involved, did you?" The front door slammed. "You can’t let her near that demon! It’ll be a disaster!" As Hikaru reached for the door, a hand grabbed him from behind and pulled him backwards, dragging him back to the kitchen.

"I love a man who’s not afraid to be forceful," said Akane.

"Let me go!" shouted Hikaru. "I have to warn Ranma!"

"Oh, just forget about Ranma," said Akane sweetly. "What does he matter anyway? You and I are together. Isn’t that enough?"

"You don’t understand," said Hikaru, already in a panic. "That demon isn’t made of energy. It’s made of anti-energy! If Miss Hinako tries to drain it, she could bring about the apocalypse!"

"I love it when you use those big words," said Akane. Ryoga leapt out of her arms and dove out an open window. Akane obliviously ignored him.

"Some true love potion," groaned Hikaru. "It’s made you a brainless zombie devoted to me. What a failure." He sighed. "I should have known it was too good to be true."

"Yes, our love is beyond our wildest dreams," said Akane.

"Please, you’re making me sick!"

"Shall I kiss your poor stomach all better?" asked Akane, lifting Hikaru’s shirt.

"I’m sorry, Akane," said Hikaru, "but I have no choice." He carefully tapped the back of the Akane doll’s head against the kitchen table. Akane fell instantly unconscious. "When you wake up, you’ll be back to normal." He put the doll down on the table. "Never again will I use voodoo to try to win your love." He looked down at her. "She looks so peaceful, lying there..." He ran out of the kitchen and returned with his trusty camera. "Miss Hinako can wait. I’ve got a collection to replace."

*************************************************

Ranma stared down from the rooftops at the Nerima District as the sky began to darken and the first stars made their appearance. "I can’t believe I didn’t see it coming... I’ve been treating Akane the wrong way all along." He gazed up into the sky, the stars appearing as streaks through his teary vision.

Mousse sat down next to him. "So, why aren’t you with Akane?"

"That tomboy can take care of herself," said Ranma sullenly.

"Can she? Even she would have to admit that she’s not half the martial artist that Shampoo was, and Shampoo was no match for the demon."

"If Akane wanted my help, she’d ask for it."

"Would she?" asked Mousse, staring into the sky. "That girl is very headstrong. You know how she hates to admit that she needs help."

"Well, I hate to give her help. I guess that makes us even."

"It’s not just for Akane’s sake. Shampoo and the other kidnapped girls are depending on you to rescue them too. If you can’t do it for Akane, fight the demon for them!"

Ranma looked at Mousse for the first time. "So, that’s why you’re trying to convince me to fight the demon. It’s all for Shampoo, isn’t it?"

"Maybe," admitted Mousse. "Maybe I’m just hoping that somehow, you can get Shampoo back even though great-grandmother says it’s impossible to beat that demon. But I know how it felt to know that I failed to protect Shampoo. I wouldn’t wish that feeling on anyone, not even my worst enemy." He turned to look at Ranma. "Have you done something with your hair?"

"I got trapped between forms," said Ranma. "It’s Akane’s fault."

Mousse squinted behind his glasses. "I see. It’s a good look for you, really."

"Sure. That means a lot, coming from someone with 20/1,000,000 vision."

Mousse sighed. "Okay, so Akane caused you some pain. All I’m saying is that you’d better be one hundred percent sure that you don’t care about her before you decide to leave her to her fate."

Ranma echoed Mousse’s sigh. "I know I felt bad when Ukkyo got kidnapped. I suppose I’m still too much in shock about Shampoo to feel anything. She was gone in a second. But Ukkyo... she was looking right at me when she disappeared. I’ll never forget that stare."

"Picture that stare on Akane’s face, Ranma. Do you want that to be the last you ever see of her?"

"She hates me now, Mousse. She’s got Gosunkugi now."

"You had Shampoo and Ukkyo before. Did that change the way you felt about her?"

"That’s different!" protested Ranma, perhaps a bit too hard. "I never pretended to love them... until Cologne read me that assertiveness book."

Mousse held up a copy of "How to be More Assertive." "You mean this book? I’ve heard a lot about it. I read a couple of chapters this afternoon. It’s got all sorts of techniques for convincing people of whatever you want them to believe. Do you know what it says about convincing someone that they care about you?" He opened the book and handed it to Ranma.

Ranma ran his finger across the page. "‘Winning a political debate?’"

"Sorry, wrong page." Mousse flipped through the book. "Right here. ‘The mother of desire is jealousy.’ In other words, make someone jealous and they’ll want you."

"Yeah, right," said Ranma. "Akane never read that book."

"Didn’t she?" asked Mousse. "I happened to be in her room a few days ago, and there was a copy on her desk."

"Really?" asked Ranma. He took the book from Mousse and flipped through it. "You think Akane’s just trying to make me jealous so I’ll love her?"

"I’m certain of it," replied Mousse.

Ranma shook his head. "I doubt it. You didn’t see the way she acted around him. Akane would never have acted like that, even to make me jealous." He turned another page, then suddenly closed the book. "Well, it seems this book has everything..." He tossed the book back to Mousse and stood up.

"Where are you going?" asked Mousse.

"There’s a demon coming for Akane tonight," said Ranma. "I’m going to make sure it leaves empty-handed." He leapt off of the roof.

Mousse stuffed the book back up his sleeve. "Wow, I never thought being assertive would be so useful. Maybe I should read the rest of the book."

*************************************************

Akane awoke on the floor of Hikaru Gosunkugi’s kitchen. "Ow, my head... what the heck happened to me?" She slowly stood up, using the table to pull herself to her feet. Her head spun dizzily, and she quickly sat down and rested her head in her hands. Her eyes fell on the voodoo doll. "What’s that?" She picked it up and examined it closely. As her fingers rubbed the doll’s neck and head, she felt her wooziness fade. "It looks just like me. How cute! Hikaru’s so sweet." She tucked the doll into the chest pocket of her frock. "I wonder where he went... I never got to ask him about the demon."

"Hey, Akane!" called Ranma’s voice from the foyer. "You in here?"

"Here I am, Ranma!" shouted Akane, standing up carefully and walking toward the voice. When she saw Ranma, she gasped. "You’re back to normal!"

"What are you talking about?" asked the fully male Ranma.

"Don’t you remember, you were –" She stopped suddenly, and the color drained from her face. "You’re not Ranma! You’re the demon!"

"Curses," said the demon as its Ranma body dissolved into a black cloud. "Can my disguise really be so transparent?" Tendrils of anti-energy reached toward Akane. "No matter. Once I have you, I can shed this useless disguise forever."

"No!" shouted Akane, backing away from the demon.

"Hold still," urged the demon. "I don’t want to have to hurt you." Akane grabbed a mask from the wall and swung it at the encroaching tentacles, scattering them like smoke. Before they could reform, she dove out the door and into the night. The demon flowed smoothly after her, keeping pace easily.

"No time to do any research now," she panted as she tried unsuccessfully to lose the demon in the streets of Nerima. "We’ll just have to go along with Ranma’s plan and hope it works, or else I’m doomed!" She quickly traced out the plan in her mind one last time. "I’m doomed."