It was a typical day in Nerima.
No, scratch that.
It was a rainy morning in Nerima.
Ick, even worse.
It was a dark and stormy night...
Who am I kidding?
Wait a minute, I’ve got it...
Dueling Styluses
A Ranma 1/2 Fic
Standard disclaimers apply: I do not own Ranma 1/2.
Ranma walked down the street, whistling a happy tune, jumping from puddle to puddle. As he landed in each one, he let out a shriek of happiness. "Ya-hoo! Ya-hoo!" A tinkling bell-like sound came from behind him. Ranma grinned and knelt in the puddle, gathering up a healthy amount of muddy water.
Without warning, he spun and splattered the murky all over the sputtering figure behind him. Ranma started laughing and pointing at the indignant small furry animal growling back at him. "Gotcha, didn’t I? Didn’t I? I rule!" With another laugh Ranma leaped high into the air and then came forcibly slamming into another puddle. "Haha! This is awesome!"
The pig-tailed martial artist darted over to the fallen bicycle and grabbed the cute little animal. "Hey, you know who might like to see you? Maybe that crazy Asuza chick?" The little animal shook its cute head frantically and tried to bite Ranma’s hand, but Ranma merely chuckled. "Nah, that’s too cruel, even for you. Hey, how about your ‘boyfriend’, huh? Bet you’d love that, huh?"
The little critter let out a squeal and jumped from Ranma’s hand onto the cold hard street. With a scared look back at Ranma, the furry animal raced away. Ranma chuckled again and eyed a nearby puddle. He bent down and prepared to leap. "Yee-ha!"
Nabiki sighed as she watched the surveillance video. Running an international crime syndicate was tiring work. "I deserve more money. Much more money, dang it! Why can’t Ranma just let me sell him into slavery and I’ll be done with it?! We’d both be better off, and then I could finally finish setting up Akane and Kuno." She laughed softly. "And then I’d really be well off. Not like this paltry yen I already have in the bank. I NEED MORE MONEY!"
"Oh my, Nabiki, are you sure you really mean that?"
Nabiki swivelled in her chair to face her older sister, not startled in the least bit. A calculating smirk came to her face. "Say, Kasumi, do you know what pornography is?"
"Agh, no way. Kasumi would never say that!" Akane frantically erased the last few lines she’d been writing in her journal. "And Kasumi should be hooked up with, uh, not Dr. Tofu, that’s too predictable. Definitely NOT Ranma. And not Kuno, that wouldn’t be fair to Kasumi or Kuno. Hey, I’ve got it!" Congratulating herself on her amazing brain, Akane continued writing.
Ranma frowned as he looked as his own bad handwriting on the sheets of wrinkled paper. It just didn’t seem ‘right’ but he wasn’t sure exactly why. "Man, there’s gotta be some reason! Somethin’s missing, but I can’t figure out what! Would Akane really say that to her father? He’d probably blow a corkscrew or something."
The exhausted martial artist leaned back against the wall and started thinking about what he had just written. "Maybe if Nabiki were to say somethin’ first to him. But what about Pop? He’d run outta there faster than a chicken chased by weasels." Suddenly, Ranma’s eyes widened. "Hold on a sec, I got it! I know how to make everything work! Yes!" He pumped the air with his fist and grinned widely. "I rule."
Ukyo tapped her pen on the page impatiently. Why wouldn’t it fit? Ranma would love to be not cursed, right? And he definitely didn’t need any curse for that matter. "Maybe it doesn’t make much sense for Akane to be cursed too. I guess that would be too easy. But then what could the solution be? I don’t have that much time left. Damn them! Ranma better not be writing anything different from me!"
A knocking sounded on the door and Nabiki Tendo stuck her face into the room. She smirked with a triumphant look on her face at the okonomiyaki chef. She held out a few printed sheets of computer paper. "Just wanted to let you know that I’ve completely finished, Ukyo. And that my story is by far the best. You don’t stand a chance."
Ukyo gave Nabiki a smile that showed all her teeth. "I wouldn’t be too sure about that, Nabs. After all, suppose I write a story in which you get everything you want - but then lose it all and more? Would that match your story?"
Nabiki’s smile fell for a second before settling back into place. "Nice try, Uksie, but I’m way too smart not to have thought of that contingency." She smirked before glancing at her printout. "If you’ll excuse me, I just have to check this over for typos - of which I’m sure they’ll be none, of course." Nabiki strolled away leisurely and as soon as she was out of sight, she bolted.
Ukyo chuckled softly and picked her pen back up. "Score one for me."
"Shampoo, I hope you’re writing as I, ahem, advised you?"
"Of course, great-grandmother. All Shampoo need to do is think what Airen would want and what Shampoo wants and put them together! Since Shampoo can write in Chinese, it easy."
Cologne growled at her great-granddaughter, "Shampoo, I hope you didn’t forget to add in matches to my story! If two stories match for content, they will be that much closer to winning."
"Aiya, Shampoo forgot! Shampoo will make sure to add. But great-grandmother, what about Mousse? It easy for him to mess up us if he write too stupid story."
"I know, Shampoo, and don’t worry, it’s been taken care of."
"Good." Shampoo smiled cutely and turned back to her work.
Shampoo walked cautiously down the street, her eyes peeled for her ‘fiance’ in case he jumped out of any bushes. "Why he have stupid accident anyway? It too much for Shampoo."
Mousse suddenly jumped out of bushes, yelling "Shampoo, my darling, I love you. I shout out your name, S-H-E-M-P-O, wait is that right?" He was interrupted by a fierce bonbori to the temple. "Aiya, Mousse, you shut up!"
"Mommy," Mousse whimpered as he slid to the cold, hard ground.
Genma burst into laughter. "Hey, Tendo, look at what I’ve got planned for those pesky Amazons! You won’t be able to hold back spasms of hilarity!"
Soun giggled but shook his head vehemently. "You know the
rules, Saotome. After all, we want our entries to win so that the schools
can be joined, right?"
Genma snorted but nodded solemnly. "Yes, Tendo. You are of course correct.
Oh, and by the way," he lowered his voice to a whisper. "Any ideas
on how deal with my wife?"
"What was that Genma?" a steely voice responded.
Genma cringed and turned back to his writing. "Nothing, dear."
Kasumi looked around at everyone assembled before her. "Oh my, there are so many people here. I do hope a good story is picked."
Ranma grinned at her. "Hey, Kasumi, I bet none of us would complain that much if your story is picked, whatever it may be."
Kasumi flushed a little and smiled slightly. "Why thank you, Ranma."
Akane scowled at her fiance. "Ranma, you better not be flirting with my sister!"
Nabiki put a hand on her younger sister’s shoulder. "Akane, calm down. Remember how important an event this is. After all, you wouldn’t want some like Kuno to win, would you? Although I doubt anyone will be picked but mine."
Akane shuddered and settled down. "I guess you’re right, Nabiki."
The proctor stood up and cleared his throat. "The votes are in everyone. The best story belongs to..."
"Kodachi!"
"NO!" A collective scream came up, and Kodachi bowed.
"I thought as much."
Akane screamed.
"Akane, snap out of it. It’s time to decide."
"Uh, ok, I choose..."
"Kuno!"
